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Bad drinking habits makes me feel zoned out

jKempy June 6th, 2020
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I only drink at night but when I do I guzzle it like tomorrow doesn't exist. I drink whiskey heavy, usually starting about 9pm then as I try to regulate my consumption, the effects of the alcohol kicks in then I am under the influence - there is no control in my consumption. I increase the strength as I drink pints after pints of whiskey. Then my body submits to the effects and I quitely take myself to bed where I sleep without a thought in my head.

My kidney are feeling the pressure of continuious heavy alcohol intake. I know I should stop but I have an over active mind that makes sleeping a nightmare. I get restless leg syndrome and feel like I need to chop my leg off to relax. My brain goes on a marathon at times when I should be relaxing. I tell myself often I must stop but when the time comes I feel inclined to give in due to fear that my mind will go into overdrive.

I generally feel more happy when drunk but the effects of this may well be killing me slowly. I understand the dangers but inner conflictions make it a dilemma hard to address.

The pressure of life, a bad childhood experiance resulting in PTSD, anxiety, and depression comes in sync with how I respond to my issues at night.

5
Neversleepy3 June 6th, 2020
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@jKempy .. Start reading a good book..

jKempy OP June 6th, 2020
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@Neversleepy3

Recommend a good read and ill follow it up. :)

Neversleepy3 June 7th, 2020
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@jKempy normal people by sally rooney

Neversleepy3 June 7th, 2020
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@jKempy .. Nonone will think about your health and nobody will cry after your death except family.. So dont let them cry for you..change yourself.. Drinking in limited portions is not bad.. But if you change the balance it will harm you ,your body , which in effect will not only harm you but will also hurt the people you care for or the people who care for you.

jKempy OP June 14th, 2020
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@Neversleepy3

Yeah I completely agree with you. . Good thing is though ; I have managed to cut it right down to once or twice a week. In fact my last drink was last night in moderation, prior to that was Tuesday. My next target is to get into a routine where I drink only at weekend and be more responsible for my own actions. I am thinking hard of ways around it. It is a challenge that I am fighting with all my will power!

Thanks for the recommendation. 😃