Is it just me, or is this what student friendships look like?
I've noticed a concerning pattern among the friends I consider close. It seems that they have become increasingly unavailable. This unavailability manifests in a few different ways: for instance, there are times when I don’t hear from them for months on end, unless I take the initiative to reach out first. Even when I do make the effort to connect, their responses can be quite sparse. Often, they won’t reply unless I pose a question, seemingly assuming that I don’t expect a response otherwise.
These friends are the first ones I’ve formed genuine connections with in real life, which makes me uncertain about what this behavior signifies. Is this typical for friendships in real life, or could it reflect something about my own judgment in choosing friends? Until now, I hadn’t really contemplated the possibility that I might not be good at choosing compatible friends.
In contrast, my interactions with people I’ve met online tend to feel markedly different—more fulfilling because there's a sense of mutual investment in those connections. Still, I can't help but wonder if I am gravitating toward individuals who, for some reason, are consistently unavailable. This leaves me feeling confused and unsure about what is normal in friendships in real life.
I genuinely want to understand whether others have faced similar experiences. Is this kind of behavior common, or am I perhaps overlooking some underlying issues in my social circles? I’d appreciate any insights from those who might have navigated similar friendships or relationships.
@energeticPrune260
Hi there,
I hear you—it’s so tough when friendships feel one-sided, especially when these are people you value deeply 💖. It’s completely normal to wonder if this is typical or if there’s something about the dynamics that needs attention.
Many people go through phases of unavailability, but consistent lack of reciprocity can feel isolating. You deserve friendships where the effort feels mutual 🌱.If you’re interested, I also know of a professional psychology chatbot that might offer some insightful guidance for your situation.
These are the two chatbot links:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Chatbot: https://chat.palbolt.com/
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) Chatbot: https://sfbt.palbolt.com/
You can click “switch user” and enter a new name to refresh your chat. AI chatbots are the core feature of our mental health app in development, and we’ll be adding more tools. Stay tuned!
Your privacy is our top priority—rest assured, all conversations are strictly confidential and securely protected.
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Responders will be selected to receive a $10 gift card. Thank you for your time and for promoting mental health awareness.
@energeticPrune260 im going through the same thing. My best friend of 10 years is being distant. Other friends are acting....unavailable too. Its confusing and sudden, and obviously upsetting. I dont think its on us and our ability to choose friends- people, unfortunately, drift apart, and though friendships that last lifetimes are real, theyre not so easy to come across. Wish you the best,
Thank you for your words. It's really confusing when the people you consider friends are unavailable without offering an explanation. Given that my friends have never been different—they have always been unavailable physically or emotionally—I’ve always assumed they were just busy people. However, this doesn’t seem to be the case with you, as it appears that your best friend of 10 years is now starting to become distant. I hope you find out the reason for this.
@energeticPrune260 thank you 🫶
