The Power of Believing
I had a bit of a challenging childhood and adolescence. My family went through a lot of hard times. My parents and other caregivers had gone through their own difficulties throughout life and had less resources to help me navigate life.
Fortunately, in high school and college, I came across a number of mentors. I outlined some of that here. These folks challenged, encouraged, and, most importantly, they believed in me. They saw something in me that I couldn’t see in myself. Through many conversations, I gradually began to believe what they could see in me.
I went on to do a lot of social impact work over the years. Sometimes this was with populations that were homeless, other times in addiction settings, with kids that had “behavior problems,” in faith communities, hospitals, and, most recently, on the Internet.
I have attempted to carry forward what my mentors did with me into all these other settings and with the people I have worked to help over the years. Part of this is validating the person and helping them understand that their life makes sense when you zoom out and look at it from beginning to end. See this mistakes post. Part of it is genuinely liking the person - seeing them as a unique person with gifts and talents - and enjoying the conversation wherever it goes. We know when someone likes us and that feeling helps us grow. That old saying, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” captures this.
Another part of this involves helping the person better understand their life’s purpose or calling. To help them begin to answer - Why am I here? What am I supposed to do with my life? We highlight this process in our culture guide, especially this section:
If you can help a person see where they have come from, see where they are now, and begin to forecast a trajectory of where they might end up, then I think that helps them become more able to believe in themselves.
Part of what we do on 7 Cups is that we believe in the best for the other person. It means helping them envision a picture where they meet their goals and have a fulfilling life. It involves helping them understand that the dark times will end and that there will be light and life on the other side. It means picking them up when they are down and reminding them that they can indeed get through it. It can involve big things like helping someone move or little things like helping someone take that next step in front of them and then celebrating when they do take that next step.
Good group therapy involves imagining a ball of string. The therapist's job is to help the group build a sort of spider web by passing the ball around the group. They say things like, “can anyone else identify with what Maddy is going through?” The words of kindness, symbolized by the ball of yarn being woven across the group, sent back and forth build a sort of compassionate belief system where group members begin to lift one another up and champion one another.
And that is what we do on 7 Cups! When you pick up that chat, you are saying, I believe in you. I am rooting for you. I know that there is a brighter future for you and I will walk with you for this next leg of the journey to help you get there. These conversations add up. Believing in another person helps their internal fire grow a little stronger. Each conversation gives the person a little more courage to believe in themselves. It makes it easier to take that next step forward.
My hope in this post is that we see that we already believe in one another and then take steps to strengthen that belief. Believing in others also helps us believe in ourselves. Lisa shared this Gandhi quote, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Believing in the other person helps our members, listeners, and leaders grow. When we believe what is best for one another, we help make it a reality.
A few questions to consider (no need to answer any or all of them unless you’d like to...just thoughts to consider):
- Has someone believed in you? If yes, how did it impact you? How did it feel?
- What do you wish they would have known about how they helped you?
- Have you believed in someone else? How did you know it was helpful?
- What can we learn from your experiences in how we can better believe in others?
Love the post! 🩷
A lot of people have believed in me throughout my life. First time, one of my social teachers believed in me even after failing in a poetry recitation competition (I forgot the poem) and she took me to another one and I came first. I could never forget it because she noticed my efforts more than the results and she knew it happened because of my anxiety.
Then my family believed in me when I was going through really tough times. I would always say I can't do anything because I always struggled with believing in myself but they did. My friends did.
Also, the people I tried to help did too. Earlier I used to listen to people on some social sites and that used to be mutual. We believed in each other and almost all of us are in a better space now.
And this week on 7 cups, my listening mentors helped me learn and believed in my potential. I was asked to take up roles and get my account verified. Even though I still feel I need to learn more, I'm glad that someone believes in me and what I'm capable of. So, thank you everyone! 🌸
I believe in you, too. ✨☀️
Without believing anyone, we wouldn't even make a move in our daily lives. Every situation circles a blind belief.
Everyday activities make you practice the same situations, like going to the grocery store or driving a vehicle, which are all based on trust and believing someone.
So, Each and every other time, you're believing others by believing yourself.
I believe in a dear friend of mine whom I love, she is going through a lot of changes and difficult situations related to moving to another country. I know she can overcome what comes her way and make the most out of every situation. It reminds me she is trying her best and that it is okay to make scary decisions beneficial to yourself. And I dislike talking to my family members asking what she is doing yet I tell them I stand by her and believe in her. I love you, A.
@GlenM
- Has someone believed in you? If yes, how did it impact you? How did it feel?
one person who always believed in me was my mom! this impacted my self-esteem in a positive way and always made me want to be the best person possible. my mom believing in me, no matter what the situation, made me feel like my life always had purpose and structure.
- What do you wish they would have known about how they helped you?
i wish that my mom was always meant to know that her influence in my life helped me to realize that i am my own identity, and i should never try to copy or emulate someone else.
- Have you believed in someone else? How did you know it was helpful?
one person i always believed in was my dad, which was helpful because he has always been my number one role model and looking to him for faith was always something that gave me inspiration!
- What can we learn from your experiences in how we can better believe in others?
from believing in other people, we can learn more about how to skillfully be ourselves in taking the good from the people we admire and trying to use this good in our daily lives.
@GlenM
Michelle Chamberlain was my childhood friend. she was the only person when I started Junor Hight school. That realized that I was having a hear time not just in the classroom but also in conversating with people outside of school. When she asked me, I gave her an honest answer and she ask your mother if you can come over my house and I will help you. She showed me How to understand the English language though Music and then said to me. I Know you can do anything you want in this world you can do this. I never had the chance to thank her when she was alive. I did go to the twin tower site as they were still building held the fence and thanked her there. She was my childhood best firend, I miss her so much.
@GlenM
- Has someone believed in you? If yes, how did it impact you? How did it feel?
Yes, my grandma believed in me. Yes, because of her, I feel solid. It felt good, nourishing.
- What do you wish they would have known about how they helped you?
I wish I could have sent her the last letter I wrote to her. I still have it.
- Have you believed in someone else? How did you know it was helpful?
Yes! They told me!
- What can we learn from your experiences in how we can better believe in others?
Love the unloveable.
@GlenM
Yes, I have had several people, in my past, who believed in me. It helped me feel loved and believe in. I was able to do things that I never thought I was capable of doing. It empowered me to step out of my comfort zones and do things I would never have done in the past. Unfortunately all those people in my life are gone. Now I have to work hard to love and believe in myself without my mentors. I know I can do this by focusing on positive areas in myself and life.
@4Jasmine
Oops, "in." should be omitted.😊
@4Jasmine it is so powerful. I think those of us who are fortunate to have had people believe in us get how powerful it is. I wish I could bottle it up and give it to everyone. What do you think are the best ways to believe in other people?
@GlenM
I believe that encouragement, true faith in someone, and love without strings, ie. pure, accepting love, just the way a person is, make what seems impossible, become possible! I experienced this, so I know how powerful another's pure love and encouraging belief in me was able to do in my life!
@GlenM
Yes, I have believed in others. It did for them, what it did for me. It was awesome!
@4Jasmine
What I discovered was that the women who took me under their wing, ie. became my mentors, were about 20 years my senior. They were seasoned by their years of living and had great wisdom to teach and share with me. I was truly blessed to have had multiple women who mentored and guided me. Suddenly they were gone from my life and I have felt a bit lost without them by my side and in my life. Slowly, I realized that I had become a seasoned woman and possible future mentor for other younger women trying to find their way. It was exactly what others had done for me so many years ago. I guess it could be considered, "the circle of life".
@4Jasmine
Right now I take care of my grandchild when returning home from school, and when my grandchild has time off during holidays. I am doing what I am called to do at this time, but I believe that I am to do more with my daily free time. I have presently felt unproductive and stuck, trying to determine what else to do with myself. I am beginning to actively seek direction and indications as to what I am to get involved with and do. Also aware that timing is an important factor as I desire to move forward.