Mr. 8 or Life Obstacle Bets (LOB)
Like many of you, I’ve had to overcome a lot of challenges in life. I used to get frustrated with unexpected problems. Normally, they crop up exactly when I don’t want them to. I have 7 challenges to solve and here comes Mr. 8 jumping the line and requiring that I deal with him now. I say to Mr. 8. “Please go back to your place in line and I’ll get to you next week.” He says, “Nope. I’m here now and I’m not going to let you focus on problems 1 and 2 until you solve me.”
As you all know, we believe the problem is the path. That it is good to have a plan, but ultimately life is too complicated so a better idea is to simply solve the next biggest problem in front of you. Then, as you solve the problem, the path before you unfolds.
That means that solving Mr. 8 is likely the best thing to do even if it feels like a detour from my original plan. Over the years, I’ve stubbornly kept focusing on problems 1 and 2 even when Mr. 8 was bugging me. I have a lot of personal data on this. It yields an okay outcome. I also have data on just listening and solving Mr. 8 that is jumping the line. That data yields a much better outcome.
Ultimately, for me, this comes down to trusting the process of life - the river - rather than trusting myself or my own judgment. I can stubbornly hold to my own stance on things and try to force or control things OR I can trust that there is a reason for me to solve Mr. 8.
What this means for me is I have to have a belief that solving Mr. 8 is going to better help me and those I care for (my family, this community etc.). This is what I’ve come to:
Mr. 8 jumping the line has a personalized, tailored, custom lesson for me that I need to learn for optimal growth for myself and those I love. If I solve that problem (Mr. 8), then it’ll be better for me and those around me.
If I stick to my own perspective, and try to control things, then it’ll be less positive for me and those around me.
The concept of "the problem is the path" suggests embracing these challenges as part of the journey (adaptability).
I have come to think of Mr. 8 as a Life Obstacle Bet (LOB). I’m making the bet that solving Mr. 8 will yield better results than solving problems 1 and 2. If I am right, then fantastic. I better help others and myself. I also get to tell myself I’m making optimal progress. If I am wrong, then I’m not sure it matters all that much as I’m still solving a significant challenge that is calling me to focus on it.
The alternative belief is for me to be frustrated with the sometimes seemingly endless stream of Mr. 8 challenges that keep cutting the line. This results in me feeling irritated and frustrated. I feel like I’m not making the progress I want or need to make and I am in a constant place of playing catch up.
What is the Life Obstacle Bets (LOB) Approach?
The LOB approach reframes unexpected problems (Mr. 8) as opportunities for growth (reframing). You bet that solving Mr. 8 will yield better results than rigidly following the plan you originally had (prioritization and decision making). Even if solving Mr. 8 isn't the "optimal" solution, you're still addressing a significant issue (task management).
The LOB position invites the questions, “Hey, why not just believe that this frustrating problem is actually a disguised opportunity? What if this is a tailored challenge to help me and others grow?” If I am right, then life is easier, and I feel better about my progress. If I am wrong, then it doesn’t really matter in the long-run, and I still get to believe that I am taking the optimal path.
Benefits of the LOB Approach:
Reduces frustration from seemingly endless disruptions (improved decision making).
Encourages viewing challenges as disguised opportunities (positive reframing).
Fosters a sense of progress, even when tackling unexpected hurdles (improved task management).
In conclusion, the "Life Obstacle Bet" (LOB) tackles the frustration of unexpected challenges by reframing them as opportunities for growth. By prioritizing the most pressing issues (urgency and importance), and adapting your plan when necessary, the LOB approach fosters a sense of progress and reduces decision fatigue. This flexible and optimistic mindset allows you to effectively manage tasks, prioritize effectively, and ultimately achieve the best outcomes for yourself and those around you.
Discussion Questions:
Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience? Remember, we can often only see this when we connect the dots looking backwards - like “oh that frustrating challenge was actually a key part of me now having this positive experience”. It only makes sense when we reflect. Similarly, when going through an unexpected frustrating time now, we can say “okay this will likely make more sense in the future just like those other times” now when I look back.
What's your biggest challenge with staying organized and managing your tasks?
How do you usually deal with feeling frustrated when things don't go according to plan?
@GlenM
My biggest challenge with staying organized and managing tasks is maintaining consistency. It’s easy to get off track or overwhelmed, especially with multiple responsibilities.
Hi! I’m new here and just getting oriented, but a question… Is the link for “problem is the path” supposed to go to a bill about social media?
@irrationalKitten108 good catch! updated!
Thank you!
@GlenM reframing outcomes feels overwhelming when experience causes broad life impacts. Changing personal beliefs, financial disadvantage, impacting family dynamics, overwhelming coping skills. Staying mentally flexible and persevering through the experiences so you can accept them as learning opportunities takes critical thinking skills, imagination and confidence. What happens if each of these characteristics are not developed?
@coolvibes these are great points and a good question. I think we need to all understand that some of us start miles back from the starting line. Some people start miles ahead and other start right at the line. There is a lot of research on adverse childhood events that might be helpful to look into. If you know you've had the deck stacked against you in some way, then you can be gracious with yourself and say okay I had to figure out a lot of things that other people knew right away. I think that can help keep things in perspective.
With regards to critical thinking, imagination, and confidence, you are in the right place! These things can be talked about like they are big, global, ideas or characteristics that either a person has or doesn't have, but that isn't true. They all exist on a spectrum and they can all be developed just like a muscle can be developed or a skill can be developed through exercise. Many people have developed those skills here. Chatting with listeners, joining a sharing circle or other group etc. are all great ways to learn about yourself and vicariously learn from others. If I see that you did something to overcome a challenge, then I can learn from you by simply watching you share it in in a sharing circle.
And, last, we have an amazing community of people that have built a great culture. A lot of these strengths are baked into the work we do. You can kind of "catch" them by just being here. People have been enriching the soil of 7 Cups for over a decade now, so it yields great fruit and vegetables that can help all of us grow.
And hats off to you for being vulnerable, self-aware, and persevering!!!
@GlenM Thank you @GlenM for your imagination, vision and mission for cups. It is an amazing experience to be able to learn from the community participants and be a witness to their Talents and challenges. Everyone has a unique story of success and triumph. being able to share space with people and growth with them is a true honor.