Finding Your Purpose Exercise

[ Content Warning for discussion revolving around the theme of death. ]

Hello Community! I hope all is well. It is starting to warm up here...finally! We are at the start of doing more deliberate work on flourishing. Part of this includes finding your purpose, calling, or sense of meaning in life. This can sometimes be hard to do. I've done the following exercise with hundreds of people and more recently with our team and in the Academy. People tend to find it helpful in putting words to something that can be a bit challenging to capture. If you try it, then please let me know what you think in the comments. Feel free, if comfortable, to share your results as well. Or other exercises that are similar in helping you reflect on your life's purpose. ---

Exercise

Imagine you wake up one morning. You feel rested. The birds are singing. It is a beautiful fall day. The sun is shining and there a few clouds in the sky. You get dressed, grab a cup of coffee or tea, and decide to head out for a weekend drive. The trees are starting to turn. You can see the different shades of yellow and red.

You get to one beautiful tree lined street, like a canopy overhead, and you notice that many of your friends and family members are parked. They are dressed up and they are heading into a building with two white doors. You get curious so you pull over and park your car. You are dressed casually, but you decide to go in and see what is going on anyways. You climb the stairs and walk up the sidewalk. You call out to a few of your friends with a warm ‘hello’, but they do not respond. Strange. It seems like they are ignoring you.

You open the door and there is a long hallway. Nice thick carpet. The lights are dim. You walk down the hallway to a big room and follow all of your family and friends in. It is a very nice room. Kind of formal. People look sad. You attempt to make eye contact, but, again, nobody will look at you.

There is a big central aisle that divides the room. You decide to walk down it. As you are walking down it, you see that there is a lectern and three very special people seated at the front. You know these people. These are the people you are closest to. This is starting to get odd.

You also notice that there is a casket. You walk over to the casket and are taken aback. You were not expecting this. The person in the casket is...you. You are at your own funeral. It is the end of your life. You are much older than you are now.

No wonder nobody can see you. You are dead. You grab a chair, get comfortable, and begin to listen as each of the people seated at the front get up to say something about you.

Instructions:

Get a pen and a piece of paper or open up a doc. Write down what each of these people say about you. Just write what you want them to say. Don’t judge it or get lost in whether or not it is accurate or will be accurate. The important thing is to write it down.

If you are married, or envision yourself in a long-term relationship, then imagine one of these people as your spouse or long-term partner. What do you want this person to say at the end of your life?

If you have children, or envision yourself with children, then imagine the second person as your grown child. What do they say about you?

If you have a long-term friend, or envision yourself with a long-term friend, then imagine the third person as that long-term friend. This can be someone that you’d think of as a best friend. What do they tell others about you?

Finally, if you have a co-worker that you are close to, or someone you volunteer with, then imagine what this person says about you.

After you’ve written it down, condense what each person has said into 3 simple sentences. If you have 3 people, then you should have 9 sentences. If 4 people speak at your funeral, then you should have 12 sentences.

Remember, this is the end of your life - whenever you imagine yourself dying. I think I’ll die when I’m like 85, so I imagine myself as 85 in this exercise.

Interpretation:

This exercise is designed to help you identify what you think is most important in life. These are your true values. If you were to live your life in a manner that reflected these values, then you would be a happy person and you would feel like your life was well lived. If, on the other hand, you live your life in a manner that is inconsistent with these values, then you will more than likely be an unhappy person and will feel like you did not live a meaningful life.

Whenever we take on a project, it is is very smart to do what Stephen Covey recommends and “begin with the end in mind.” If you identify what you want the end to look like, then you can arrange your steps to make sure you get there. Your life is no different. Right now you are at Point A in life. This funeral exercise shows you Point B. You have to live in a manner so that your path connects Point A to Point B.