Introducing the "Transformation Wheel" & Invitation to Join!

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Three years ago I had a falling out with someone.

Unfortunately, people come and go, and not always peacefully, but this was abnormally messy. They made my life miserable online. They spread rumors, and lies, and harassed me. Even long after we stopped communicating, they would continue to try to find ways to get to me. It was obsessive and it made me paranoid about every step I took in our circles. It caused me to leave some circles and avoid others simply because I didn’t want to risk “flaring them up.” There was no resolution to this other than to keep my distance and hope they forget about me. But that is no way to live. Why do they get to determine where I spend my time and what I do and why should I have to walk on eggshells? And I’d only get more and more frustrated because there’s nothing I can do to stop them; I can only control myself and how I cope and move forward.

The “attacks” have decreased over the last year, but that was a long time to sit with this unresolved turmoil, and even as I type, recalling all this, I start getting those anxiety flutters.

If you were to rate the impact this has had on me on a 1-10 (1 = good, 10 = bad!!!) scale, I’d be an 8 out of 10 and that’s only after 3 years of long-term struggle.

There’s so much toxicity built up in me and I’ve not figured out how to release it in a healthy way. I’ve tried many different interventions but they only ease the distress in the moment.

In rolls the Transformation Wheel. It’s designed to address personal issues, challenges and/or obstacles in your life by listing a single issue and then breaking it down into smaller parts to better understand the causes of the issue. The goal is to tackle each over a period of four weeks. Imagine the main issue is the wheel and the categories are the spokes.

TLDR - this helped me A LOT! You’ll see in the images below - my distress dropped from an 8 in severity to a 2. I felt free for the first time in a long time.

This is how it works:

What’s an issue you’re having right now? It could be something causing you great distress or a problem you’re wanting to solve. It doesn’t have to be complex. Write this in the middle of the wheel in the center circle.

Once you have it, rate how you’re feeling about it on a scale of 1-10. 10 = severe distress/anxiety/big problem and 1 = reduced pain/the issue being more manageable/feeling better. Write this number in the center circle.

Next, fill out the categories (I feel, I believe etc.) around the main issue to detail the related problems and feelings. You only need 1 point for each, but can add as many points as you like. 

Every week, do interventions to address the main issue or the related points and then rate it again in the center of the wheel and rate all the related points in the smaller circles on the wheel perimeter. Not that there are 4 circles at the end of each category. Rate week 1 in the first circle, week 2 in the second circle etc. You will likely notice that the severity score goes down at the end of each week. 

Why a wheel? Sometimes when we are working on an issue, we can feel like it is resolved, only to find that it has slid over into a new area. Sometimes this can feel like the game whac-a-mole where you think you solved the problem only to find it surfacing in a new part of your life. You might find yourself stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts and behaviors, replaying the same struggles over and over. The wheel acts as a container so that the problem, and all the different ways it impacts you, can be captured in one place. This makes the problem easier to track. The wheel is a sort of “problem catcher.”

So, I gave this a go! Here’s an example of how mine looked:

Issue: Overcoming cyberbullying 

I Feel paranoid frustrated and vulnerable

I Believe there’s things I cannot defend against because I can't control them

People Impacted Are Me and mutual friends

This Results In Having to be careful about what I share in public spaces

I Behave By following their activity and making my paranoia worse

Memories: I’ve had to defend myself several times against false accusations.

Related Issues: Obsessing over things not in my control stopping me from letting go

Then, of course, I had to address them. I did this using different kinds of interventions. Some things I did: talked with a listener, journaled (lots of journaling), shared with my partner, and I even did some chatting with Noni in the first stages. I also took this opportunity to get more serious about exercising (became a good distraction when I was getting too caught up in emotions). In combination, these things helped me reflect and work through my feelings.

Every week after doing a bunch of interventions I’d rate each problem of where I was at with them. Some numbers dropped, others didn’t move right away, but 4 weeks saw big drops across the board, most notably in how I felt. I felt more in control. The more control I took over myself, the less impact these problems had on me.

“Doing the wheel” became a much easier way to do self-care than other exercises I’ve tried in the past. 

4 weeks ago I was 8/10, and overall I’m now floating around a 2, which is a huge improvement. All in all, I feel much more hopeful about my situation and the weight is significantly lighter. I have been working with Glen who’s excited about this being a simple but powerful tool with a ton of potential.

Like most new things, to truly test its effectiveness, we need as many people to try it out as possible. I am inviting everyone to take part and will happily work 1:1 with you to get the most out of it, brainstorm ideas, choose interventions, etc.!

For everyone who does take part, and gives me your input, I will reward cheers and there will be special badges for being a pioneer in helping me develop this tool!

Please let me know in the comments below:

• What are your reactions to this idea?

• Do you have any questions?

• Are you going to try it? 💪

When you’re ready, click on this slidedeck for extensive instructions and the wheel template!

You can also download the blank template directly to start working on it HERE.