Self-Forgiveness - A Short Video Message & Discussion

@Laura the video was helpful in got me reflecting about my self-talk. For myself, what is challenging about forgiving myself is when I accept myself conditionally, like "I shouldve known better" etc.. Sometimes I often asking myself "why".. "why".. I am learning that its okay not to have answers to everything.. that kind of thing, letting it go.. letting it be...

Each one of us deserves forgiveness

@Laura I want to forgive myself for not spending my senior year of college looking for a job. I graduated college in Spring 2015 Cum Laude. I was president of an honor society, I did hundreds of hours of community service, was part of student government, and a high ranking member of my serice fraternity. Since graduation I've had six jobs and have been terminated early from five of them, being outright fired from three of them.

My first semester of senior year I was offered a role at Salesforce, but I turned it down because I wanted to enjoy the rest of my college experience. The positon was very high paying, and my family and I struggle mightily with our finances. If I took the job I likely could have estavlished myself and my family financially.

For about a year and a half I regretted this decision to not take this job, but I'd like to forgive mysellf now. Even though I'm unemployed I've learned a lot about myself and what truly matters to me. I've also had time to go on vacations with friends and family that I'd otherwise not have a chance to see.

Life after college may not have turned out like I thought it would, but I've come to accept my life for what it is, and I strive every day to make positive changes that will bring happiness to myself and everyone in my life.

It's basically the Dialectical Behaviour Skills (DBT) technique of radical acceptance, turned inwards - there's no point dwelling on something you're powerless to change because it's in the past, so you need to be able to accept the reality of what happened, to allow you to move on from that point.

I didn't forgive myself until I was 16 years old. Since I was a child I used to hate my parents, my father was really violent with us and my mom just didn't care, and so I rebelled, started my own violence and it wasn't until I really hurt somebody that I realized that I wasn't doing things right. So I went to therapy, and then I realized that I needed not only to forgive both of my parents but also myself, because that much hatred, that self isolation was hurting me...

Now, I forgive me everyday, because of that past and also because of feeling so lonely without any good reason. And I do forgive me, because that's how I show myself that even with all my flaws and mistakes, I still love me. And that's also why I'm here on 7Cups, to help me and you guys if possible.

@laura and 7cups community -

Let's Be Clear, this may not be applicable to all situations ones Faceing. The song "Sorry to Myself" by Alanis Morissette is an apology letter she wrote herself. I would post the lyrics but it can be easily googled & don't want to violate any terms of agreement.

Some or all lyrics may be apply to your life. I am sorry it has taken me this long to understand how powerful these lyrics are and it's my honor to share this with my 7 cups friends.

Listen or read the lyrics. I recommend rereading the lyrics to comprehend how we can treat ourselves worse than everyone else. Choose to accept you today as you are - you are perfectly imperfect just like each and everyone one of us.

I believe that self-forgiveness is very important, particularly to people who have low self-esteem like me. I catch me blaming myself many times even when the fault is not mine. I am often harsh and critical towards myself. Whenever I do something that is not good enough according to my standard, I get frustrated and start telling myself defeating words. Self-forgiveness is surely a viable solution to my tendency of thinking negatively about myself. I guess I'm ready to forgive myself for quite a few things today Thank you Laura for sharing the video and help me have a chance to voice my opinion about self-compassion

i dont think i could ever forgive myself sadly

I just want to forgive myself and give a second chance to myself and have a new start and do all the good deeds as possible in my life span

Forgiving yourself allows you to remember that you are just a simple human on this planet, no better or less. And that, in all its messiness, is beautiful.