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edited by ASilentObserver as of Feb 17, 2021
I joined 7 cups to be able to give back to the community. It is important to be able to help others while helping yourself.
Hi I'm new here. I'm looking for help and advice for dealing with my narcissistic husband. I'm at a loss as to how to deal with him. After searching and reading about narcissism I've finally come to the realization that that is my husband. Doesn't care about my feelings. Very controlling in a rules for thee type way. I'll try to sum up what happened over the weekend that led me here. We have 5 children, live in a tiny house, and my husband has hoarding tendencies. I brought up 2 or 3 times in the last month that I was planning on getting a storage unit to put things in. I also mentioned that I would be getting rid of our children's bunk beds and getting queen sized beds for them. Well this weekend he brings up that I've been doing things without talking to him about them. Like getting a storage unit and telling him who's buying the bed. I calmly tell him I told him I was going to get a storage unit and told him how I may have the boys bed sold and if he wanted the guy to pick it up over the weekend. He said no during the week. I felt like I told him about everything I was doing and my plans. His response was that since I was spending so much money, he was going to go out and spend lots of money. Then he's upset and doesn't really talk about it. Just gives the silent treatment. Says things can go in the attic but the attic is full even after organizing it. This was a minor occurrence to put it mildly but I'm just so done with this. I tried to go about like whatever and I didn't talk to him until he started speaking. Next morning he wraps his arm around me before he gets up then doesn't really say much the rest of the day. It's complete madness and emotional abuse. I walk on eggshells constantly as do the kids. They range in age 16 down to 5. Please help!
I grew up with a narcissistic father so I understand having to tread lightly around them. I learned to set boundaries and not let him bring me down when I've done my best and it's still not enough for them. You told him your plans and if he didnt listen or ignored him that's on him. It's difficult being around someone who won't validate your emotions and tends to be abusive in that way. The silent treatment isnt the right way to fix any conflict it just let's anger and other emotions build up but, if he wont talk or take the initiative to try to fix things you cant make him. Ik it's hard and complete madness at times but we are here for you! I hope you can find a good way to get through this and have a healthy relationship with him. I wish you the best. Keep your head up and try to stay positive. ❤
@DakotaSm@ You should try Aabboo app on Google playstore
Hello! I'm a psych student. I came across this app and tbh, initially, I just wanted to do something besides college. Now that I've joined the community and have talked to people, I realised how this makes me feel at peace with myself. The feeling I get after helping someone is unparalleled. However, there are definitely some challenges we listeners face on a daily basis, like the feeling of helplessness that sometimes comes after chatting w people, but the overall experience is totally worth it!
@callmeP10 You should try Aabboo app on Google playstore
Alright, thanks for sharing.
@callmeP10 haha
Hi, I’m Z and from personal experience I can tell you that surviving with a narcissist is not easy. You’re on thin eyes everyday your feelings are completely valid and you should not be manipulated and gaslighted into thinking otherwise. You matter!
@Letsunpack Hi z. Thanks for your reminder. I'm surely anyone who come acrosss reading your post felt understood. I wish your listener journey has been great so far ^^
Hi nice to meet you
@DatMe
heylo!
@Southernmom05
Hi! I am sun! You are definitely in a difficult situation. When some people experience very little or no control at some points in their lives, they can respond by trying to control every detail to the point where it becomes abusive. You are your greatest asset! You are amazing! While you cannot change his behavior, you can make use of your own strengths. You got this! Welcome to the 7 cups community! There are plenty of resources for you to take advantage of, should you choose to do so. All the best!
Hi all. I'm a newbie listener, nad happy to be here! I was a teacher, coach, and mentor for a long time, so I hope to be able to use my listening skills to help out others!. ☮️
@peacebunnee You should try Aabboo app on Google playstore
@peacebunnee Hi I hope your times in here have been going well. I'm sure your listening skill could be helpful for us. We're glad to have you here as a listener.
@peacebunnee
Yay thank you for being here
Hi my names Dakota, I've been struggling with anxiety, depression, and ptsd for a few years now. I was recently diagnosed with bpd and it just feels like a loosing battle. I take my meds but I don't feel like I'm getting any better. Its hard trying to stay positive when you've always been a pessimist. I'm still trying and I'm still here tho. Ik its hard but we have to keep fighting because eventually it will get better. ❤
@DakotaSm
Hi! Welcome to 7 Cups! How are you doing now, have you found your way around this site and feeling supported?
Sounds like it has been a challenging few years. It can take time to adjust to a new diagnosis. Has it been helpful for you?
No pressure to reply unless you want to, I just wanted to check in and say welcome to new people. 
Hello everyone 👋, I am Ari and I'm glad to be here as a new listener. I am here because Ive been through some mental health issues and I wished I knew this platform before. So now that I know it, I want to help others when they are feeling lonely and not being heard. I am open to talk about any topic but I am prefer listening to topics like student life, anxiety and depression. Its been a few days but I already feel a lot of progress with myself and I hope I can help others ♡
@aari94
Nice to meet you aari94, and welcome.
Thank you for that introduction. Good Listeners are very needed.
Heyy aari nice to meet you!!
@aari94
heyloo aari
nice to meet you (:
@MushroomFrog Hi Welcome to 7 Cups! We're happy that you're here. That is truly hard to be diagnosed with those disorders. If you would love to talk with someone here's the link; https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/ We hope you get the support which is right and suitable for you :) Feel free to ask us if you have any questions regarding this site :)
Hi there angels! I'm a new listener (kind of) and I am really looking forward to learning a great set of skills and work towards becoming a Clinical Psychologist following my graduation (hopefully!) from my university.
@simi333 Hi there. You seem to be new around here and we're happy to have you here as a listener. We hope your journey as a listener in here is wonderful and meaningful to you :) I wish you all the best :)
Hello everyone, I am newbie and I am really enjoying listening and supporting others :)
@Ruthy220 Hi. Welssome to 7 cups. I'm sure you're a new listener in here.TI'm glad that you enjoyed helping and supporting others in here. I wish that you will do great in here as a listener. Feel free to reach out to other listener around here if you have any questions :)
