Fake Listeners & how 7cups has changed
I have been connecting with listeners who do not say anything at all. I get connected, and then they say nothing. These people are not using 7cups properly. Often I will connect to a listener and get no messages back. This gives me the impression that they're purposely ruining the 7cups website, or that 7cups is a fake website. I guess my account was tracked by a moderator and flagged as a person who must be ignored? Why is this happening? Is the website just getting worse?
Listeners who do not respond should be banned. Why connect to someone on 7cups if you're not going to say anything?
I may stop using this site, if it's just full of fakes.
Listeners are just random people who make listener accounts. Surprise surprise.
That aside, yeah there are a lot of people who don't know how to do it properly, but there are a few decent ones out there, I promise.
I know, a few is not enough. But eyy.
@Phthalo i thought the listeners had to go through a process of being tested before they could start listening?
@hobbes1978 They do but it's insultingly easy. It needs to be...not so easy, I'd say.
@Phthalo easy is an understatement. I became a listener the day I found this site. No questions asked. Just lol...
@857 I am really sorry that you seem to be experiencing these kind of problems. I know there has been a few technical difficulties on the site recently so I do not know if this may be why you've been experiencing problems but there are genuine listeners here who are there to support members and guests, and if you have been waiting in the general request queue and a listener has accepted your chat, then yes they should respond to you. However, if you have Pm'ed a listener and have received no response this could be because they are not online, or could be busy with other chats etc. However, most listeners at some point as far as I understand things, should always respond to a PM even if they cannot offer a chat at the time you may have messaged them. I often set my status to unavailable if I am taking booked chats or busy with other things within 7 cups but I know this does not stop people messaging me for chats but sadly in those times, I am not available to respond or offer what they need but I always reply and suggest perhaps they try reaching out to speak to another listener or they book a time to chat. Hope this helps
@dancingRainbow45 unfortunately this happens often, if it weren't for me being persistant, example: last night i went through 4 or 5 listeners before i finally gave up trying. i got the same thing no responses and i hit the block and report button and put that the listener left without response, but typically it takes several tries to get one person to listen and the pm a person and wait for them to respond i have yet to have one respond doing it this way, had several listeners say i will check on you later in the next few days and only one had this happen. considering leaving this site
@hobbes1978 I am very sorry you have experienced this, I truely am. If listeners show that they are available to take chats (usually has a green dot next to their dp) then if they have chosen to take a chat, they should be responding,not ignoring a member. I hope your perseverance leads you to a good listener who you feel has been worth the wait.
I don't think they are 'fake'. Prob away from keyboard and not paying attention (which isn't much better btw)
There are good and bad listeners, or shall I say, experienced and inexperienced, and it can be annoying when you log in wanting to speak to someone when your distressed, it doesn't help matters when you sit in a queue waiting for someone to answer, to get no reply, it feels like your begging someone to talk to you and makes you feel worse. But this said, I come to expect this now. So if I get an reply, it's a bonus. There have been times when I have search for a good listener by star rating, reviews etc.......but they are no longer taking new chats, so that's that, it's their choice, it's just a shame on the people feeling the need to talk, but no one to listen @857
its a sad case when you can't even find someone on line to talk to, that's life I guess
I currently have no availability to take new member chats as all the time I give here is taken up by booked chats with members, regulars and listeners needing mentoring and peer support. When I have availability i do change my profile so it may be worth keeping an eye on that if you would like to chat with me. Having said that, there are lots of good listeners here who are both experienced and inexperienced. As in any job whether paid or unpaid, there will always be some people you click with better than others and some workers who are better and more professional than others. I give my time here because I want to help support others and pay forward if you like all the support I have received over the years from people I know. There are lots of listeners here too who do just that, giving their time freely because they want to listen and they do care. Sometimes it may just take a little time to find that right listener for you. I wish you well
@dancingRainbow45
Hi, that's okay, I totally understand the commitments others have, I think it's great that prople devoted what ever time they have, whether its a vast amount or short, it all helps. I had a great listener, they moved on, I was happy for them, sadly they haven't been replaced, I'm OK with that to, I dont expect people to jump through hoops, life isn't like that, one day, I'll probably be successful in finding another listener, I don't think you can pace the site hunting for one, if it happens it happens, but I'm not bitter towards any of the listeners, maybe frustrated when a chat is taken and they don't respond! It passes
Take care
@Huggingarms You too :)
@857 I have had this happen, just last night. I have more recently been trying to use the connect with a listener and get ALOT of newbies, young 18-25 and even been told by one that i need to get another listener they can't follow. Its frustrating. we come here to help ourselves and to have this happen this often indicates a problem.
@hobbes1978 If you want to avoid newbies you can go to https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/ and look for one that has a 5 star rating and has had a high number of chats, or you could even check the "verified listeners" box, that should help narrow it down I guess. And if you don't want younger listeners then you can also click "listeners by age..." And choose 35+
@Phthalo I tried that; I have messaged almost 10 different listeners and not one reply back. I get the younger listeners when I go to connect and wait, and wait and wait. It usually takes 20-45 minuets to get a listener. I am considering just leaving this site. Thanks for reply
@857 PREACH IT. I'm an "experienced listener" and even I experience this when I try to reach out to other people. Or when on my member account. There is no real "training". You go through a mock chat with a BOT that has no real intelligence. And it's not hard when they give you multiple choice. You could fail it 10 times and still be a listener. And then 95% of people that pass are terrible at it and give up for whatever reason. I have had people accept my general requests (on my member) and say nothing. I did NOT pick them. They picked me. Makes sense eh?
I'll keep it on topic and not talk about all the other glaringly obvious problems.
@TheBreadBoy Wait the mock chat is with a bot now?? Didn't it used to be with like a mod or something?
@Phthalo Mock chats are also done with mentors. I myself have held mock chats with listeners and I personally feel mock chats provide a great opportunity to grow as listeners, get good constructive feedback and become great listeners
@dancingRainbow45 in every mock chat, in every training course, in everything that involves learning of some kind, the correct answers are robotic and useless. I'm never going to respond the way you guys "want" me too simply because you have to cover yourself from a legal standpoint. I'm here to help people. Not be another cog in a machine. The site needs an overhaul. Period.
@TheBreadBoy I do not agree that people have to be robotic, yes there are rules to follow and boundaries to respect for members and listeners alike, but i happen to believe if you are yourself with people, whilst being professional, whilst doing your very best to support people because you want to and you believe in a persons ability to make changes in their lives which leads to more happiness and fulfillment, then people will respect you for who you are, for the ability to care whilst being yourself. Mock chats are a chance for listeners to grow by those conducting them giving the other person constructive feedback where upon they can implement the ideas and suggestions to improve as a listener and become the very best they can be, which in turn means better quality for members and guests. People have a right to think all listeners are robotic if this is what their experience has told them, but it seems rather unfair to me on the people who give their time up for 7 cups, for members, guests and other listeners because they wish to try and make a difference which makes life easier for someone else who is perhaps struggling and who could perhaps be totally alone. I know why I joined 7 cups and it certainly wasnt to be a robot. People have a choice at the end of the day, if something isnt working for them, they can complain, they can change things or they can give up and condemn everyone. They can even leave the site if things are not working for them and I would hope they could find the support they are looking for elsewhere. I happen to believe sometimes taking a few risks in trusting people and giving listeners a chance, could mean having someone to turn to when you need, someone who genuinely cares and wishes to support you. Your choice really. I do not think its okay for bad listeners to cloud peoples perceptions about the rest of the listeners here who happen to care and are giving their time up because they want to help. But people also need to want to help themselves. Listeners are not here to give fixes or make the world right. They are just a small part of someones journey to hopefully find a better place to feel and be.
@dancingRainbow45 I can agree with the majority of what you are saying, but then why don't the answers in mock chats and training courses reflect real people? I see them as a joke and I had to complete more than 42.
@TheBreadBoy The mock chats I do are chat scenario's where the listener responds as they would if the chat was real. This takes place over 15/20mins time. From start to finish they respond as they would if they had taken a chat from a member/guest. Following this, I would then give feedback, what they did well, what they could perhaps have done differently, what they need to improve upon etc. I take mock chats seriously and would hope that through the feedback the listener would use what they have learnt, put it into practise and improve as a listener for the members and guests. I have never heard of mock chats being done with noni until someone mentioned it recently. All mocks chats are usually done by mentors with listeners. Does this help to answer anything?
@dancingRainbow45 Seems like you must be 'THE ONLY ONE" that has experience on this site. Well overall you can't be there for all the people that need listeners. You also seem to be the only one replying to this post so makes me think do you run this site alone? If not instead of spending your time responding with politically correct answers and apologies for the things going wrong reach out to the 'supposed' others like yourself and help the site get better. Don't mean to come across mean or attacking you, don't know you personally. Just looking for a resoltion instead of reasons (excuses) as to why so much is going wrong here. Thanks for your time though, you are the only listener responding here. Kathy (hobbes78)
@hobbes1978 I hear that you are not being personal and are just looking for a way to resolve the kind of issues that have been raised :)
I am just one of many people here who try to do what they can to offer support to others. I am not saying I know all the answers or am the expert or the only experienced person here because I am not, and there are many experienced listeners here who all contribute to making this site and community what it is. I also believe members and guests are the experts on them. They know what is right for them and they have the answers within themselves to make the changes they need for them. I do have a counselling and psychotherapy background and sometimes perhaps this can help somewhat. My responses come from my heart, they are not staged or politically correct for the sake of being. Its I guess me being honest with how I see things. I can only be myself and that is something I strive to be with people in general. I think its important sometimes to have an appreciation of why things may not work smoothly sometimes so that ways to resolve things can be found. But there are a whole host of people here are 7 cups who are always striving to improve things and will continue to do so.
You mentioned about reaching out to other listeners to help improve this site rather than respond in the forums. I guess I try to do just that by being a peer support for other listeners and a mentor. I wish to pass on what I feel will help them become better listeners so that members and guests are supported effectively. I wish to be part of improving the quality of listeners hear at 7 cups but I am just one tiny part of that cog in the wheel and as a forum mentor, part of my role is to also be responsive to forum posts when I am able. But there are lots of other people too doing this and a whole lot more besides
Just like life, things will never be easy, there will be problems along the way, there will be difficulties to iron out but I guess for me the most important thing is that good listeners are here for members, guests and listeners whilst at the same time doing all they can to help build this into a strong and supportive community. I hear that some people have had bad experiences with listeners etc but I would love if some members and guests would be willing to think about the fact the listeners here give their time for free because they want to try and make another persons life a bit easier with a little support. Not every listener here is bad or unprofessional and they work hard to make this place as good as it can be, whilst trying to be the best listener they can be for members and guest. They dont deserve the bad press that they can sometimes receive. Everyone needs to feel appreciated to some degree. Just as in any work, if there is no job satisfaction, if people dont feel valued and appreciated, eventually they will leave and I would hate for members and guests to lose out on valuable support from really good listeners because of a few people who perhaps have made it a little harder for members and guests to believe there are some genuinely supportive listeners who actually believe people matter. Perhaps for me I believe that 7 cups really does want to reach out to support others...but I also appreciate that whilst doing so, there will always be room to grow, adapt and improve
@dancingRainbow45 thanks for your time to reply. I understand people give of their time to be here and be a listener. Thanks for listening. :)
@TheBreadBoy And yes WHEN are they going to make the test harder and include important things like "the block button is not an escape pod, nor is outright ignoring someone. If you don't feel you can support your memebet anymore, refer them to another listener" or something.
@Phthalo Listener are encouraged when they feel they do not have the expertise or skills to effectively support a member to find a more experienced listener for the member to get all the support they need
@dancingRainbow45 How so?
@Phthalo Listeners can seek another listener by a variety of means to take a chat, or a member can be asked to browse listeners for someone experienced in taking chats in the issues they wish to talk about
@dancingRainbow45 Yeah but I mean when are listeners told this. Does it come up on their page every once in a while to remind them? Is it even in the initial training? Or is it just one of those unspoken things that few know about?
@Phthalo It is in their training. Listeners if they really are struggling or feel the member/guest needs more support or expertise than what they can offer, should ensure the member/guest receives the best support possible and if this is not from them, then they can request another listener to take the chat and ask the member to connect with them or ask the member to browse listeners for someone who takes chats in the area they wish to chat about. Its also suggested in guidelines for listeners
@dancingRainbow45 Well somehow it isn't getting across well enough because I've experienced and heard of way too many stories of members getting blocked mid conversation for no reason.
@Phthalo And its sad to hear that some listeners may be doing this. I guess as in any job paid or unpaid there are good and bad. I would hope that listeners can learn and grow and that members can be appropriately respected and supported
I've talked to a few people that mentioned their frustrations of being connected to a listener that actually wants to listen. Maybe some more training before live chats are even enabled might be whats needed. I know for me I felt like i needed a lot more training before I even felt comfortable enough talking with a stranger about their problems.
I can definitely understand your frustration :( And it sounds like other people have both shared your experience and have some insight for you. I hope you don't mind but I do need to move this thread to a more proper category, I hope together we can brainstorm and problem solve
I've noticed more and more fake listeners lately, those with the empathy of a breezeblock.