trigger warning birthday and death
today our birthday we hate birthdays due to sexual abuse on our birthdays as kid and also due to use to get birthday spanks and pinch to grow on but was more like a beating.
well today little over 3 hours ago our one best friend called us her dad passed away today. this hit us very hard. due to we know her parents. so fighting thoughts of wanting to self harm to numb the feeling away right now. but we not want to give in to them either why we came online as we just not know what to do about the feeling we are feeling right now at all
we will not call the hot line as we had issues with them in past big issues. we can not email counclor at community mental health as that not allowed. so we came online as thought that might help some. but this been hitting us hard since she called first time. it was only 60 min after her dad died and she found out only a few min before that. her parents go to another' state in winter so they not here were we live. also her son in rehab right now due to binge drinking. so she been calling us we trying to do our best to support her too.
we feel awful that we struggling with the thoughts of SH as we should not be. but am
I am so sorry you’re going through such a heavy time right now. It’s a lot to carry, especially with everything that’s happened to you in the past, and now with your friend losing her father. I can only imagine how much this is weighing on you, and I want you to know that your feelings are valid, no matter how overwhelming they may be. You’re being there for your friend, supporting her in such a difficult moment, which shows your incredible strength and compassion. But it’s also so important to remember that you deserve support too. You don’t have to go through this alone, even if it feels like a lot to carry.
@CheeryMango
thank you am trying to take care of us got a nasty text in away as we did not talk to her one day. she really has issues about us having to talk to her everyday few times a day. this to us clingy and codependent on us. the text said.
hum so here i sit and wonder if we should even be friends cuz you haven't responded to me for a couple days my dad just died in your feelings on that i just do't know maybe we should part ways i can't deal with you bowling me off constantly lily iknow you have a sickness but dam at least respond i think i might be done with this.
then another one.
i can't deal with this i have abandonment issues to this adds to them so i just don't know lily 1 think am done
then after we texted she calls acts like nothing about text we sent to her
so not sure how to deal with this