My scars make me sad...

I was self-harming on and off since august of 2016, the last time i did it was july 2018. I'm currently 354 days clean and counting, and I have no intention of going back. For the first time since I was 13, I feel in control. But what I did to myself left scars. They aren't obvious at all, and outside people wouldn't be able to see them unless you were looking very closely at my arm or caught me in only my underwear. I'm not worried about others seeing them, and I'm not ashamed of them. The scars prove that I can go through hell and live to tell the tale, they are a reminder that I can get through. But they are also a crude reminder of what I did. I can't turn them off or make them go away. For better or for worse, they are a part of me. I get so sad sometimes, when i see them, and remember how lost and lonely i felt. Even though I lived it, it still scares me that I was so upset I thought my only option was to take a blade to my skin enough to leave scars. I just get so sad for my past self, a 13 year old child. And it's not just that. When I'm hanging out with friends, the scars are there, when i'm at my lowest point, they are with me, they will be with me when I graduate highschool, and on my wedding day. And maybe I don't want the reminders. Maybe I just want to make these milestones and get to a point where this part of my life is a distant memory. But how distant can the memory be when the proof is etched onto my skin? ANd maybe I'm being dramatic, and I don't want to get rid of my scars, but I I don't think future me will appreciate the reminder of the pain my 13-15 year old self went through...