Self-jarm thoughts, help

Let's start saying I've been clean for 4/5 years now, I thought I did it, I thought it wasn't a problem anymore, though seeing my scars fading and dissapearing always makes me feel bad, it's like I feel ashamed because I stopped and because my scars are small in comparison to others. Lately I have a constant urge to hurt myself. I rarely act just because I live with my family and it's summer, I don't want people to see and to know, but these urges are draining, they are always there in my mind. I don't know how to stop them and I don't know why they keep coming back. I never told anyone about this. I'm tired.