Close to relapsing tw
Heyy,
I feel really stupid. I have a self harm addiction and am easily triggered. Today I was in a really weird/bad mindset where my thoughts were all over the place. A person close to me had a panic attack today and when they told me, I handled it completely wrong. My mental health is pretty bad at the moment and I can't really take other people doing bad. One thing led to another and for some stupid reason I asked about their self harm, which was months ago but I asked. They told me where they self harmed. And that triggered me immensely, especially cause the urge to sh there has been with me for a really long time. The urge to self harm is really bad right now. Everything hurts like hell. I just needed someone to know
Big tw sh and depression
I know no one replied and i don't know if anyone will actually read this but i guess writing it somewhere is better than not at all
I feel so damn alone. Everyone tells me they're there for me, that I can talk to them but when it gets bad no one is around. People tell me I don't have to go through this alone, that this time it's different and I have people to reach out to. It feels like the opposite. I'm doing bad and no one's here. The urge hasn't been this bad in weeks. I don't know what to do. Talking isn’t really an option when your body decides to go mute. I don't know who to reach out to, if I even should. My don't really trust in people anymore. I don't know what's going on. My head's a mess. I'm mad, hurting, sad, in pain... feel guilty. I feel so alone and I really don't care about the consequences of sh
@etharislight
Hi ethar. I just saw your post and wanted to check in to see if you're doing - well, not good maybe, that's not something you have to be - but if you're surviving.
I feel much the same way you do, and I know how hard it is to not feel guilty and exhausted. Coping strategies don't often help for very long, and constantly finding new ones is tiring. Do you have anything you do to help other people feel better? You could try those.
I also recommend absolutely terrible music to fill your head, but that might just be me lol
Good luck
Heyy thank you for writing
I'm ok... or well surviving/ managing. My head and life are a mess right now
Coping strategies only work sometimes for me. But heyy at least they work sometimes right? I honestly don't know how I'd help others in this situation. But I'm trying to surround myself with tiny bits of positivity. Like a song, a good snack, tea, art... just tiny things to remind me to keep going. That life is worth it. I guess that's also what I'd do for others
That's a great recommendation. I'll try that
For me right now halsey's album manic is helping a lot. Especially the song 929. Don't know if you know it
Thank you, to you too
@etharislight
Tiny bits of joy are a brilliant idea actually, I might steal that :))
I also like to basically just "cosplay as someone who's got their shit together" dancing, making jokes, dumb idyllic stuff you know?
Survival is good! Once you've got that you can build on it, it'll get better.
Or if it gets worse you know you had the strength to be in a better place before, so you can do it again.
I'll check out Halsey, atm I like ingydar by adrianne lenker, it's like poetry sang by a sad horse girl
Thank you, and I hope you stay well<3