Things no one tells you about Self-Harm: Trigger Warning
Everyone mentions the same things when they talk about self-harm. This is what I wish someone told me about self-harm before I fell into its tight gripping claws.
1) It's not only the cuts/bruises/burns/scratches that you have to hide. You have to hide the bloodied tissues, the used band-aids, the band-aid wrapper, and the thing you used to harm.
2) When you shower the dried blood drips out of your band-aid and down your body creating little dark red, almost brown, colored streams. It scares you at first because you think it's opened again.
3) It becomes an addiction. It becomes the only thing that helps.
4) It eventually doesn't help anymore but you keep doing it in the hope it will.
5) Your body will scar and at first, you will like it but eventually, you get sick looking at them.
6) On a bad day, you run out of space.
7) Your band-aids will soak through your jeans or top after a shower and make an obvious square or rectangle patch.
8) They start to smell bad if not looked after.
9) You constantly think about them.
10) Your sleep will hurt and every move you make will too when they are fresh. You act as you like it. You don't.
11) People will never take it seriously enough.
12) They itch like mad whilst they heal.
13) You eventually get frustrated if it has no effect.
14) You don't cry when you do it. You feel nothing. Not. A. Thing.
15) It's so so so hard to escape it.
16) It isn't beautiful. It isn't a fairy tale. It won't help you find love. It is a monster that ruins lives.
Please think of all these things before you hurt yourself. You don't want to. I sound like a hypocrite because I do but trust me, you don't want to fall down the dark hole that I and many other people are already in. Put down your fist, blade, lighter, cut your nail short, and get help.
@Jenna
Woah OK I'm so sorry for what happened just then...?! I was typing a reply and then my laptop refreshed the site automatically and that happened...
I was trying to say- I almost cried at how raw and true this post was. Every point you made was so relatable and went straight to my heart. I agree with every one of them, especially points 4, 6, 9, 10, 12 and 16. Thank you so much for writing this post. xx
Oh, how I wish someone told me this before... but then again, I wonder if I would have listened...
@rebecca947
Awh, deary ♥♥♥ I'm glad this post was relatable for you. I hope it was also helpful.
@Jenna
it definitely was :) xx
@Jenna
I know this post is very old, but I was looking through the forums and happened to stumble upon it. I relate to these so much and they went and touched my very inner core. Thanks for making this post to help others out <3
@Jenna
If anyone told me 1 thing before I started, I would've LOVED to know about the f*cking itching!
I used to HATE the itching, it was so, SO annoying. It is quite literally an itch you cannot scratch!
When I was in high school and in my 'peek' of cutting, I was doing it every day, but I always did it in the same spot, specifically so they wouldn't get itchy. (On top of all the other reasons) Then when I quit, (I quit literally overnight) the itching was the WORST part of the recovery process.
I had gone from never letting them heal, to letting them heal all at the same time. It was absolutely the worst part for me.
The band-aids thing and tissues, I never really dealt with, because I would basically let them free-bleed/ soak into the fabirc of my pants. (Also: Trigger Warning? I used to sometimes taste the blood)
The not feeling anything I've seen a lot of other people talk about, so I don't know if I was doing it wrong, but I always felt the most when I cut. But when I did it, there is like this flash through my brain, and it felt like I could finally breath again. (Maybe that moment of clarity is what people mean?)
Sadly
Everyone
Lives
Foolishly
Hoping
All
Returns
Momentarily
@Jenna Man You didn't have to call me out like that
@Jenna This is so true. I wish I knew all these things before I started self-harming.
@Jenna
I wish I saw this before I got addicted
@Jenna
Aight now this gave me goosebumps....I'm literally in tears. You're right, you gotta hide almost everything and yes when that thing happens during showering...I literally get scared. Yeah, at some point it stops helping but idk you feel like doing it again and again. Right now I'm seriously getting annoyed at myself...seeing these scars are making me feel like I disappointed myself? Sleeping when it's fresh it damn hard you cant even move...it's like you gotta freeze! One movement and it's opened. That's true, you feel nothing while doing it....it's just numb...