Distractions and Alternative Coping Strategies

Hello everyone!

I hope everyone is having a lovely day so far

Self-harm is sometimes used as a way of coping with negative events and feelings. It is often used as a result of not having learned how to identify or express difficult feelings in a more healthy way. Finding new ways of coping with difficult feelings can help to suppress the urges that lead to self-harm and may help in the recovery process. Self-harm is not an easy habit to kick. It's rather similar to an addiction. Stopping is easier if you can find other ways of expressing or coping with your feelings.

Identifying your feelings

You can ask yourself the following questions which may help you to identify the negative feelings or situations that lead to self-harm:

• What was going on in my life when I first began to injure myself?

• How do I feel just before I want to injure myself?

• What are my habits and routines? Am I always in the same place or with a particular person when I get the urge to injure myself?

• Do I always feel the same emotion when I get the urge to injure myself?

• How can I better deal with the situations that trigger me?

You may want to keep a diary in which you write down your feelings at different times so that you can better answer these questions. Keeping a diary can be very useful for identifying your feelings. The more you write down, the more you can think about your answers and try to identify your triggers and feelings.

I want to stop self-harming but I still have the urge to do so. What do I do instead?​​​​​​​

One way to increase the chances of a distraction or alternative to calm the urge to self-harm is to match what you do to how you are feeling at the moment. This is where identifying your feelings can help you. It may be helpful to keep a list on hand so that when you get the urge to self-harm, you can go down the list and find something that feels right to you in the moment. Here is a list with examples of distractions and alternatives, focused on a certain emotion or feeling:

Feeling angry:

• Do something that will give you a sharp sensation, like eating lemon

• Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at. Cut and tear it instead of yourself

• Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go

• Hit a punching bag • Pick up a stick and hit a tree • Use a pillow to hit a wall, pillow-fight!

• Rip up an old newspaper or phone book

• On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture

• Make clay models and cut or smash them

• Throw ice into the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it

• Dance • Clean • Exercise • Bang pots and pans • Stomp around in heavy shoes • Play handball or tennis

Feeling sad or depressed:

• Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles

• Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book

• Baby yourself somehow • Give yourself a presen • Hug a loved one or stuffed animal • Play with a pet

• Make a list of things that make you happy

• Do something nice for someone else

• Light sweet-smelling incense • Listen to soothing music

• Smooth nice body lotion into the parts of yourself you want to hurt

• Call a friend and just talk about things that you like

• Make a tray of special treats • Watch TV or read • Visit or call a friend

Craving sensation/feeling empty or unreal:

• List the many uses for a random object (For example, what are all the things you can do with a twist-tie?)

• Interact with other people

• Put a finger into a frozen food (like ice cream)

• Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root

• Rub liniment under your nose • Take a cold bath • Stomp your feet on the ground

• Focus on how it feels to breathe (notice the way your chest and stomach move with each breath)

• Do a task that is exacting and requires focus and concentration

Wanting focus:

• Eat something mindfully. Notice how it looks and feels. Try to describe the texture. How does it smell? Chew slowly, noticing how the texture and even the taste of the change as you chew it

• Choose an object in the room. Examine it carefully and then write as detailed a description of it as you can

• Choose a random object, like a twist-tie, and try to list 30 different uses for it

• Pick a subject or something that interests you and research it on the web

Feeling guilty or like a bad person:

• List as many good things about yourself as you can

• Read something good that someone has written about you

• Talk to someone that cares about you

• Do something nice for someone else • Remember when youve done something good

• Think about why you feel guilty and how you might be able to change it

• Talk to a listener about how you are feeling

I hope these alternatives and distractions can help you through your hard moments. A reminder that you are extremely strong and we are all here for you.

Feel free to let me know when you try something and how it went!

Lots of hugs,

Dimara

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