trigger warning: self harm
I've been feeling compulsive to hit my head repeatedly for a year, almost everyday. I'm trying to not as I can but it hurts more when i don't. And lately, these months i started to get overwhelmed so easily by my surroundings, or little things such as plan changes, even the way i put down the salt to the table. I tense up and feel the need to cover my ears or eyes. It hurts my brain. I'm 16. I'm concerned that I might have given myself a mild brain trauma. I cant ask help from my parents. When I had a breakdown like that in front of my mother because she raised her hand at me, she just mocked me by telling me to keep hitting myself. I dont really think the school counselor could help, I dont even know how to bring that up. I've been feeling hungry for air for at least 6 months and my heart hurts everyday. I'm stuck. All I want is to be able to study and degree at my university exam but I can't even stay still without starting to fidget sharply or hit myself repeatedly
@navyKiwi1776
Am sorry you are going through this fr. Sounds really tough.
(sending hugs and healing beams)
Help is available fr,I'm here for you.
May I ask what triggered you that has made u wanna do that?
Thank you, sending hugs back
My mother tends to get physical when we get fight
@navyKiwi1776
Are you in danger? Do you needs the crsis resources fr?
No, I'm okay. It's just complicated. They act abusive and caring at the same time
@navyKiwi1776
What kinda of situation makes them abusive, buddy (also tight hugs if wanted.)
usually when we have opposing ideas, when they insult and criticize the smallest things and when I object it. it happens often, so I can't remember exactly. I try to explain that it bothers me. We can't have normal conversations because they just judge. They say that I can't explain myself and that I can't use words properly. Im trying my best
@navyKiwi1776
Thank you for your efforts in trying to communicate calmly with your parents.
I heard you, its really, really upsetting when we fight just because we have different points of view from our parents.
Could you think of any alternatives to do instead of hurting yourself?
I tried to distract myself with shows, journaling, weight lifting, drawing, cold shower, holding an ice, breathing exercises. They don't help or just help while doing so and then things get back to the same. I've tried ways, I stopped trying to cope
i'm so sorry you've been having such a tough time <3 it must be so hard to have self harm urges like that every day. it sounds like everything gets so overwhelming for you, it must hurt so much to go through each day and i can imagine it often gets too much for your heart to take. i really wish there was something i could do to help, but i just want you to know that i read and i care about you 💖 it's so horrid of your mum to mock you like that when you were breaking, she ought to have held and hugged and cared for you for struggling this much. i'm so sorry it must've hurt a lot at the time to bear all that, especially to come from your mum. i really hope you don't hurt yourself too badly, please do get help or at least someone close to talk all this to, i can tell you're hurting a lot 💖 pm any time you want okay? take care
@navyKiwi1776
@navyKiwi1776
it sounds like you are in a tough spot right now and that things feel really overwhelming. I understand about not being able to talk to your parents. I’m not sure if your school counselor could help or not either, but there’s no harm in giving her a chance. It might take time for you to trust the school counselor and that is okay. When I used to talk to my school counselor, I tested the waters with minor things. I eventually grew to trust her and she helped me so much when I was a teenager. To this day I still remember the things she used to tell me that were so helpful.
If you aren’t comfortable talking to your school counselor though that’s okay too. You are amongst friends here and we are all here for you.
~Kristy
@navyKiwi1776
I’m really sorry to hear about the intense struggles you’re facing. It sounds incredibly difficult to deal with these compulsive urges and overwhelming sensations, especially when you’re trying to manage them on your own. It’s clear that you’re experiencing a lot of pain and distress, and it’s understandable that you’d feel stuck and uncertain about how to move forward.
The compulsive behavior and overwhelming feelings you're describing must be incredibly challenging to manage, especially when you’re trying to maintain focus on important goals like studying for your university exams. Feeling overwhelmed by changes and having strong reactions to small things can add to the stress and make everything seem even more difficult.
Your desire to manage your symptoms and stay focused on your studies shows a lot of determination and strength, even in the face of these challenges. It’s important to recognize that what you’re experiencing is significant and deserving of support.
It might be helpful to explore some strategies that could provide you with temporary relief or distraction when you’re feeling overwhelmed. For example, practicing grounding techniques, such as focusing on your senses or engaging in calming activities, might offer some comfort. Sometimes, small changes in your environment or routine can also help manage overwhelming feelings.
It's incredibly tough to feel unsupported by those around you, especially when you're trying to cope with something as difficult as this. Finding ways to care for yourself and manage these feelings, even in small ways, is important. Remember, your feelings are valid, and your efforts to cope with them are significant. You deserve support and understanding as you navigate these challenges.
