im just gonna vent here i might delete this app later idk

I'm 16 now. It's been nearly 2 years i've felt bad. I tried to act logical with my thoughts as I could. I've tried to cope with healthy ways, meditation, weight lifting, writing. But it kept getting worse over months. It's hard to keep my eyes open. My brain feels foggy. Everytime i get overwhelmed i start to have self harm sensations and images running into my mind and body. I've acted on the urges rarely. It feels like something keeps punching my head. I'm so tired of being yelled and not being listened, blamed and getting hit. Looking in the mirror is disgusting. My face has felt numb/heavy for months, it hurts. I've learned to live with the chest pain. Things just go really bad when I'm at school and i have to speak in front if the class. I wasn't like that before but I can't stop shaking now. I like being on my own, being alone is not a big deal for me. But I just forgot how to interact easily with people, it feels so bad. I had interests. I wanted to improve my interests. But I don't have the energy for anything. I keep failing and spiraling and i dont know what to do about it. Even if i sleep enough i still feel tired. I thought about speaking to the school counsellor but I just dont know. No matter how it may be the opposite i still feel ashamed and im afraid i cant express myself. i never could express myself to anyone. i dont know how to ask for help