did it again :/
id been over a year clean until october. slowly its been getting worse. i was 2 weeks clean until yesterday evening, and the urge is here again today. i thought i at least wouldnt return to the point of doing it/wanting to do it multiple days in a row... ive doodled all over my arms, that's helped a bit. holding on x
@mza24 update: i did not relapse today! and i credit the awesome groupchats on this site for that <3
@mza24
Hugs if accepted. I want you to know that I'm super proud of you for reaching out to our communities, it takes a lot of strength to seek for help. I'm wondering, what has triggered you? What has been happening to you lately? I'm here for you.
@Bearainy
thank you, i love hugs 🫂 !
i dont really know, i get like this quite often without a discernible cause. the reason i have poor mental health in the first place is probably because of some bad experiences ive had with friendships, and being hurt by them a lot. but i dont know what triggers me to get bad again repeatedly, its like a big cycle i cant stop from turning.
@mza24
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It takes a lot of courage to open up about these feelings, and I'm really glad you did. Just because you can't spot an obvious trigger doesn't mean your struggles aren't valid. Those past friendship wounds can be so deep that they make it tough to feel steady, even when things seem okay on the surface.
The fact that you recognize this cycle is a huge first step. It shows you're way more self - aware than you might give yourself credit for. And every time you talk about it, you're chipping away at its power over you. You're not alone in this. There are people out there, like me, who care and want to help you break free from this cycle. Maybe reaching out to a professional, like a therapist, could give you some extra tools and support to handle these lows when they come around. Hugs right back to you 🫂, and remember, brighter days are possible.
It's always October shsjjs, I feel very identified. In October I relapsed again and I was going to complete a year clean, I ruined it and I felt terrible. And today I was going to complete 2 weeks clean but I relapsed again.
But we can do it all (I hope)
@convivialCoconut6517 we're in this together 🫂