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I feel as if I am a coward (TW[?])
s0cksz May 26th
.

sometime in 10th grade I started SH, but I never cut my skin. I felt as if I was a coward, the farthest I was able to go was stabbing with pencils (no bleeding), bruising, pinching, and digging my fingernails into my neck/arms. I have Social Anxiety Disorder that developed during COVID where I developed a hatred for the way I look, so I often SH out of frustration when I see other people living their lives freely. just recently, maybe a month to two months ago, (for context: I have a small mirror in my bag that I bring everywhere) the mirror in my bag cracked and took a shard out and scratched my wrist. I just barely broke the skin and beads of blood rested on my skin. I felt relieved, and for whatever reason, the frustration and self hatred disappeared for a moment. after it healed, it left small scars (they aren't even noticeable now) and that scared me. if my mum were to ever see them she would never understand, she would kick me out of the house to go live with my father who I would never want to live with. I know that not being able to break the skin isn't a think I should feel pathetic about but I do. the farthest I can find myself going is scratching with the mirror shards, then putting hand sanitizer on it. 

its not like I want to go farther than that, but I still can't help but feel pathetic, like I'm not doing enough.

3
kale00 May 29th
.

This is actually pretty common among people who struggle with SH; the feeling that the extent of the injury isn’t severe enough. I want to validate your feelings and let you know that you are not alone, and you are also not pathetic for not breaking skin. Your feelings and experiences are just as meaningful as the people who SH to a greater extent. To me, it is far more concerning that your feelings are so strong to the point that you even feel a need to hurt yourself. That in itself is alarming. The following extent to which you SH, I feel, is less important. Scratching, bleeding, needing stitches… the root thoughts and feelings that lead up to these outcomes are vastly similar. All people who SH are struggling. Some people may have healthier coping mechanisms than others, some people may have easier access to objects, etc. Everyone’s situation is different , but the feelings are usually very similar. Just know that the people who you may be comparing yourself to are also probably comparing themselves with others who are “more severe” than them. It’s a vicious cycle, but there’s a way out. Please don’t feel like you are inferior or pathetic just because your injuries are different than others. Your feelings are just as valid as theirs <3

s0cksz OP May 30th
.

@kale00
cried to this, <3 tysm kale

b00kishbard June 1st
.

@kale00 Wow I struggle with SH validation in the same way and this i such an awesome post, so validating! thank you :)

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