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personal self esteem

User Profile: cupidzheart
cupidzheart Thursday

i have a hard time with self-esteem and feeling good about myself at times. any advice?

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User Profile: PineTreeTree
PineTreeTree Thursday

@cupidzheart it may be that if it were not for other humans we wouldn’t need the concept of self-esteem. It may be that comparing ourselves with others is the basis for low self esteem. In the totality of your life it will not matter what you failed or succeeded to accomplish. All of us have the same end-fate. We certainly can work ourselves into a frenzy about who was the best 100 meter swimmer, or made the most money or had the sexiest six pack abs. We all suffer with difficult feelings and we all have the same physiological and emotional needs. So just being alive is a success. Being able to navigate the challenges of life that we all face is a success. Of course, strive to be better at whatever you decide is worth your effort. But know that at any one time you are doing the absolute best you can. We always look back at our performance in hindsight and say, “I could have done better.” It’s really a self deception if it is a criticism rather than an aspiration. We could not have “known better” or had more energy or thought it through better when we acted because we don’t purposely make bad choices. We only ever do what we have the capacity to do. So….don’t compare yourself to others and don’t compare yourself to your own past performance unless of course you are acknowledging the growth you have made. 

1 reply
User Profile: cupidzheart
cupidzheart OP 2 days ago

@PineTreeTree thank you for that🙂

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User Profile: fearless1000
fearless1000 2 days ago

@cupidzheart

You are beautiful. You are smart. You are worthy. You are talented. You are enough. You are strong. You are resilient.

Just reaching out shows how strong and aware you are.

Some advice:

  1. Practice Daily Affirmations

    • Write down or say aloud positive statements about yourself every morning (e.g., "I am strong, capable"). Even if it feels fake, repetition can help reshape negative thought patterns.
  2. Focus on Strengths and Accomplishments

    • Keep a "positivity journal" where you record 3 things you did well each day, no matter how small (e.g., finishing homework, helping a friend, or being kind to yourself).
  3. Challenge Negative Thoughts

    • When you think something self-critical (e.g., "I'm not good enough"), ask yourself:
      • Is this true?
      • Would I say this to a friend?
        Replace the thought with something more balanced and kind.
  4. Engage in Activities You Enjoy

    • Build confidence by spending time doing things you’re good at or passionate about. Success and joy from hobbies naturally improve self-worth.
  5. Set Small, Achievable Goals

    • Break down tasks into manageable steps and celebrate progress. Accomplishing these "small wins" boosts confidence.
  6. Practice Good Posture and Body Language

    • Stand tall, make eye contact, and smile. This “power pose” not only makes you appear more confident but also helps you feel it internally.
    • Pretend to be super confident and the most gorgeous person even if you do not feel it. Truly act as if you're a "model" known for your beauty. Eventually, you will start to believe it.
  7. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

    • Spend time with friends, family, or mentors who uplift and encourage you. Limit interactions with people who make you feel small or unworthy.
  8. Prioritize Self-Care

    • Take care of your body and mind: get enough sleep, eat nourishing foods, exercise, and take time to rest. Feeling healthy helps emotional resilience.

1 reply
User Profile: cupidzheart
cupidzheart OP 2 days ago

@fearless1000 thank you so much for this, ill use this

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