Self love?
This might be considered counterculture and not really articulated well.
Self love is emphasized so much in our modern society. It can be a harmful mindset as it directs our attention to ourselves and lead to selfishness. Which is the mindset that often destroys relationships when both parties are not trying to understand each other and only pushing for their own feelings to be heard. But if both parties are so self centered, how can any issues be resolved? If both parties are so caught up in their own pain, they are causing more pain to others due to their lack of looking outside of themselves. However, when others are causing pain, it’s because they are in pain themselves. It’s all essentially a cycle of pain. And in order to change that, we can break the cycle and pour into the cups of others instead of waiting for someone to pour into our cup. In return, the cycle of pain will (theoretically) end. But, perhaps you may ask the question of how we can pour into the cups of others if our cups are empty? Well, thats what I’m trying to figure out as well. I want to believe that a change of mindset where we believe we have a lot (gratitude), instead of a mindset of having nothing. We can do the “seemingly” impossible thing of filling others cups while having theoretically empty cups of our own.
At the end of the day, perhaps I’m just complaining about self centeredness. Or the misuse of “self love”. Perhaps I’m pushing the idea that to fully resolve issue within us. Or more boldly, every problem in the world can be solved by being more selfless.
By looking outwards, instead of in.
@eikhcom I was just thinking something similar a few days ago! It's this whole idea of 'make time for yourself/put yourself first' mentality in therapy spaces in the West and this can unfortunately lead to confusion/isolation/and getting too caught up in oneself. But, I do think that true self-care involves making sure we are balanced and ready to help others- this means that instead of focusing on 'I'm in pain, woe is me. I need a bubble bath' it's more like 'I'm in pain. I need to do X to feel more like myself again. Then, I can connect with others again better and make a better world around me.' Unfortunately, with self-care, a lot of people only think of the first step of just acknowledging and treating the self without taking the next step of bettering the social life and context around the individual. How can we pour into the cups of others if our own cups are empty? That's a fantastic question. I think it comes down to a sense of purpose- when we feel like we have nothing, to help others can be a light out of the tunnel of our personal darknesses and we can then fill our own cups while filling those of others. I like your ideas.
