How do I convince myself I'm worth taking care of?

@Zeraphim

this is really relatable...it's so easy to tell people to take care of themself or that they deserve good things but when it comes to self .. the practice is almost impossible 😔

a listener friend told me to consider me human and to keep reminding that humans deserve care and i  do too ... reminders and affirmations may help but we need to believe them so it takes time and consistency 

I wish you the best <3

@Zeraphim Hi, i struggle with that too sometimes, so idk if i can give the best advice haha..

but what i find helpful is trying to view myself as a good friend of mine and thinking of what i would say to them in that situation. I'm often way harder on myself than on others. I blame myself, while on others i can see that you dont have to be perfect, you can feel however you feel, you can fail and carry on, that your not a bad person or not worthy cause you are not perfect. See yourself as someone you really like, a friend, family member or someone else you think is worthy eiter way.

I know thats easier said than done but sometimes this helps :)

@Zeraphim Feeling that whatever bad is happening is deserved as some sort of punishment is so heartbreaking honestly<3 You are not a burden<3 You are a wonderful person worthy of so many good things.

Questioning the negative thoughts can help, try it like you're a defence team finding all the reasons why you don't deserve the neglect and punishments. When we are so used to a similar kind of thought pattern it can be hard to change but never impossible, persistence matters<3 

Write down reasons you find as to why you are worth taking care of, keep them some where easily visible to you. Remind yourself you're worthy as many times as you have to, cause if negative thoughts repeated many time can feel like truth then why not try that with the positive ones (which actually are true *-*).

Make the opinions of others light as a feather and let them drift away, they are not worth anything for you to hold on to them. Nobody has the right to define your worth, only you can<3 Count all the nice things about you and rank them as high as you can ^-^ cause that's the only truth that matters, what you think about yourself matters. 

@Zeraphim

Thank you for sharing your experience so openly. It’s clear that you’re dealing with a complex and painful situation, and I deeply empathize with the struggles you’re facing. It takes immense courage to confront such feelings and seek a way forward.

It’s deeply unfortunate that you’re in an environment that reinforces negative beliefs about yourself and your worth. It’s important to acknowledge that these external circumstances, though impactful, do not define your intrinsic value. The idea that you deserve to suffer is a harsh and untrue belief that many people grapple with, often influenced by difficult situations or societal messages.

One of the first steps in convincing yourself that you’re worth taking care of is to challenge these ingrained beliefs. Start by recognizing and affirming that your worth is inherent and not contingent on external factors or how others treat you. Everyone deserves care and compassion, including you.

It might help to begin with small, compassionate practices to counteract the negative thoughts you’re experiencing. These could include:

1. Self-Affirmation: Write down or repeat positive affirmations that reflect your inherent worth, such as "I deserve kindness and care" or "I am valuable just as I am." These affirmations can serve as a reminder of your worth when negative thoughts arise.

2. Self-Compassion: Practice treating yourself with the same compassion you would offer to a friend in a similar situation. Reflect on your strengths and achievements, no matter how small, and remind yourself that you are deserving of kindness and support.

3. Mindfulness and Reflection: Engage in mindfulness practices that help you stay connected to the present moment. Reflect on moments in your life where you have felt valued and appreciated, even if they seem small. This can help shift your focus away from negative self-perceptions.

4. Create a Supportive Environment: While it may be challenging, seek out supportive relationships or communities where you feel valued and understood. This might be through online support groups, community organizations, or trusted friends. Building connections with people who affirm your worth can be incredibly validating.

5. Set Small, Achievable Goals: Start with small steps that contribute to your well-being. Each small achievement, no matter how minor it may seem, can help build a sense of accomplishment and self-worth.

6. Celebrate Your Resilience: Recognize and celebrate your resilience in continuing to navigate through difficult circumstances. Your persistence in seeking a better understanding of your worth and striving to improve your situation is a testament to your strength.

Lastly, it’s essential to recognize that the journey to believing in your worth is a process and may take time. There will be challenges along the way, but your efforts to confront these negative beliefs and seek a better path are commendable.

Please remember, your worth is not determined by your struggles or how you’re treated by others. You deserve care, compassion, and respect, and taking steps to affirm this belief in yourself is a powerful and important part of your healing journey.