Building Self-esteem: Self-esteem and all that it impacts!
Hi everyone! I hope you are well. Time for the first post in our building self-esteem series. Today is a bit of an introductory post to the topic, the intent is for you to better understand why working on your self-esteem is so important and how it can hold you back from a better life.
Think of self-esteem as your internal GPS. It helps you navigate life with confidence, knowing you're worthy and capable. It's how you see yourself - your strengths, weaknesses, and everything in between. When your self-esteem is high, you're like a superhero, ready to take on challenges and embrace new experiences. But when it's low, things get rocky. You might feel insecure, doubt yourself, and struggle to reach your full potential. How far can we go with a GPS that is not working well?
What does this self-esteem impact? Pretty much everything
- Relationships: With strong self-esteem, you attract healthy connections based on mutual respect and appreciation. You also communicate better, set boundaries, and avoid unhealthy attachments.
- Mental health: Feeling good about yourself is your shield against negativity. You bounce back from setbacks easier, experience less stress and anxiety, and enjoy a more positive outlook on life.
- Motivation and achievement: When you believe in yourself, you tackle goals with gusto. You're less afraid of failure, take risks, and keep striving for success.
- Physical health: Self-esteem even influences your physical well-being. You're more likely to make healthy choices about food, exercise, and self-care when you value yourself.
This is all well but how do you know you can benefit from building self-esteem? Some of us already have an idea of where we stand in terms of our self-esteem, others don’t and that is okay. We can look at the symptoms/signs of low self-esteem to check if we may benefit from working on this area of life. I can not put enough emphasis on the fact that we are not trying to label ourselves with low self-esteem as the label is of no use to us, we are here to work on ourselves! This list is here to help you decide if working on your self-esteem can improve the quality of your life. Beyond that, there is little benefit to knowing your level of self-esteem.
Here are the signs of low self-esteem!
- Negative self-talk: Tendency to engage in negative self-talk, putting themselves down and focusing on their flaws. They might say things like "I'm not good enough," "I'll never succeed," or "I'm a failure."
- Difficulty accepting compliments: have trouble accepting compliments, brushing them off, or deflecting them. They might believe the compliments are insincere or that they don't deserve them. This may not apply to you if you come from a culture where disregarding compliments is considered a part of humility/humbleness.
- People-pleasing: go to great lengths to please others, even if it means sacrificing their own needs or wants. They might do this because they believe they need to be liked or approved of to be worthy.
- Fear of failure: may be afraid to take risks or try new things because they're afraid of failing. They might avoid challenges or opportunities altogether, believing they're not capable of success.
- Social isolation: may withdraw from social activities and relationships because they don't feel like they belong or that they're not good enough for others.
- Poor self-care: may neglect their physical and emotional health. They might not eat healthy, exercise regularly, or get enough sleep. They may also engage in self-destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse or self-harm.
If the list resonates with you. If half or more of it applies to you then this series may be of benefit to you. You can still participate even if you do not relate to any of the above points. It is perfectly okay and even encouraged to participate regardless of your self-esteem level.
Discussion Questions:
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
- Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success.
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
You may answer a minimum of two questions or all of the above questions! (The instructions apply to everyone who is working towards the Braving Self badge and intends to partake in the whole series. If that is not you, you can participate however you like!)
Hi there. New here. I am most curious about negative self talk (a huge issue for me). If I had higher self esteem, I think it would improve my work life. I think I lean on my Manager too much and I am seeking way too much approval from her. If I could believe in myself, I imagine I would take more initiative and be more successful at getting my ideas through.
Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
I am most curious in learning about Fear of Failure. I noticed many areas of self-esteem that I want to improve in, but that one stood out for me as I have battled with it my whole life.
Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success.
Someone I admire is a friend of mine. She is one of the most dedicated and hard-working individuals. She is always finding ways to give back and better the community and lives of those around her. She would not be able to do half of what she does if she lacked self-esteem.
If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
The one area I would choose is my relationship with others. This area is one of the most important to me. I struggle with the fear of failure and it ties in for me with people pleasing. I would like to see a change in this area as I think I could reach more people by being myself instead of holding myself back due to fear of failure or being disliked.
@Hope
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
I think I’d be interested in all the aspects listed there 💙 especially the negative self-talk, fear of failure and poor self-care.
- Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success.
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
Definitely my self-care. I think I’ve always found taking care of myself a bit difficult. :') if I valued myself more I’d probably take better care of myself. 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
It is great to see you here! Thank you for sharing. I hope you can follow our series along
@LoveMyMoonflowers I value you, my sweet 🌜🌷🌼🌻🌹 friend and you should too!
@YourCaringConfidant
*huggles desiree buddy if okie* 🥺💜
@Hope
- Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about? -I'm interested in fear because fear seems to run the world. We fear many things, public speaking, meeting new people, starting new jobs and etc. However many times we can push through. There are some times when we can't and fear can be so severe it takes over your whole life.
- Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success. -Emma Watson. She is very famous in many parts of the world. Having low self-esteem could have led her to never pursue her career and focus on many other things such as feminism and try to help the world.
- If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why? -My mental health. I struggle a lot with anxiety which seems to morph into many different difficulties such as not being able to make it to class or even start my work. Working on my mental health and my self-esteem could lead to my anxiety still being a factor in my life, but not a severely controlling one. I want to also be able to help other people and if I work on my self-esteem and it helps my mental health I can work on being able to help others just like how positive self-esteem would have helped my self.
I admire Katie Rosy. She was a wealthy model and had a successful reality TV career. After being fired, her struggles with mental health and addiction were revealed.
She humbled herself and went to rehab. Katie even started working a retail job, and posting how grateful she was to be alive. I admired how unashamed she was. I want to reach the point where I enjoy life, and don't care about other's opinions.
@Hope
1) I am interested in the negative self talk aspect as I suffer from that slot also the fear of failure section as I didn't know it was associated with it.
2) If someone lacks self esteem they are not confident and they struggle to achieve what they want because they think they are not good enough.
3) I would like to stop doubting myself and having negative thoughts in my head, so I have more confidence to do things.
Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
There are so many aspects that I need to work on, but I feel that at this time the people pleasing is what I struggle with the most. I recently learned that I have Childhood Emotional Neglect and am working to heal from that. A big part of healing is learning self-compassion which is completely overlapping self-esteem. I feel I need a lot of help to get me past blocking my emotions and accepting myself for the person I am.
If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
I would like to see my relationship with my spouse of 30 years strengthen emotionally. For years he sensed something missing in our marriage emotionally but lacked the knowledge of what it was. 4 months ago, he discovered it and we discussed it and now I am working on recovery and healing.
2. this question was very thought provoking. it made me realise that self esteem determines the life we live. i admire one of my professors at my university who has suffered a great deal of adversity to be at the place where she gets to do what she loves. she sometimes tells her story that she believed in herself through all her failures and hardships and finally made it. if she had low self esteem she wouldn't have believed in herself and maybe wouldn't have been able to put all the hard work and live the content and courageous life she leads now.
3. honestly, i want to make changes in every aspect of my life but if i had to choose one it would be in my career. i'm really afraid of failure and being imperfect and that sometimes stops me from taking some good risks so i want to be confident in myself and open myself to newer opportunities that'll make me grow and a better person.
@Hope
Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
I'm interested in living just more balanced in all areas. For example when things are good to stay humble and when things are bad to stay grateful - to not let outside circumstances dictate my life story. The ability to adapt and assimilate and digest easily interests me most when it comes to self esteem.
Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success.
Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, master Buddhist monk left his cloistered and cosseted life to wander. If he didn't learn to assimilate and adapt to running out of money, becoming a beggar and deathly ill from food poisoning he wouldn't have found his peace with death, love for everyone nor inspired & uplifted so many.
If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
If I could choose one area of my life where I'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem it would be in the area of relationships. Often I feel terrible, upset and unable to manage, communicate effectively and be understood or understand others and this causes lost opportunities, grief and loss.
@Hope
Based on the information presented, what aspect of building self-esteem are you most curious about or interested in learning more about?
I am particularly interested in learning more about the aspect of building self-esteem related to setting boundaries. This topic is essential because healthy boundaries play a crucial role in maintaining self-respect and fostering positive connections with others.
Think of someone you admire who is successful in their field (Can be a mentor, actor, influencer, etc) and reflect on how a lack of self-esteem could have impacted their career/success.
If my mother had struggled with low self-esteem, it might have impacted her career and success by causing her to doubt her abilities and settle for less than she deserved. She might have hesitated to pursue her dreams and faced challenges in advocating for equality and societal change.
If you could choose one area of your life where you'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, what would it be and why?
If I could choose one area of my life where I'd like to see the most positive impact from building self-esteem, it would be in overcoming people-pleasing tendencies. Often, I find myself going to great lengths to please others, even if it means sacrificing my own needs or desires.
@WeEarth
The interest in boundaries make sense. They are defintely an important part. Sometimes we need to work on our self-esteem first to get to a place where we feel comfortable with placing and upholding boundaries, for others they can start right away.
I am glad you have someone so close as an example. Improving your self-esteem can indeed help with people pleasing tendencies. I hope you can benefit from the series
@Hope
Yes, thank you my friend😊
