When are they angry with you and when are they just angry in general?

That's a big question isn't it?

We've all had those moments in a chat when the member gets angry, very angry. I'm human, believe it or not, my first impulse is flee.

Being a human, believe it or not, I'm equipped with a rational mind that allows me to override these biological imperatives to protect myself from hostility. It's a survival mechanism that allowed our ancestors to survive in an an environment best described as challenging. Flight or fight..

Now we can't strip down to our boxers and offer to go three rounds with the member under the Queen of Marquess rules of boxing. That simply won't do as it is yet another biological imperative that we have to use our rational minds to override.

We all have our methods of overriding this fear or triggered anger response. For some they work very well, for others like me, it's a perpetual work in progress. I personally enjoy being a work in progress, it makes me the most colorful person in the room at times. :|

My method of overriding some of my strongest biological urges in the face of anger is to delay. What we do is text based, quite often we can take a few moments to consider our response. I then try to decide if they are angry with me or they are really just venting their anger at me. People come to this site for a variety of reasons, you better believe that some of them come here due to being quite angry about an event or series of events in their real life.

In short..

my personal go to is a two step process.

1) delay for a short moment to take a nice long deep breath and maybe a drink of water.
2) ask myself if they are angry with me or something else.

If they are angry with something or someone else, I can help them. If they are angry with me, I find that a bit trickier. Trickier, but not always impossible to turn into a decent back and forth conversation about what is going on with the member.. Above all, remember that there is a Listerner Support Room with Chat Support for you if you need help. There is also a listener hangout room where you can find chat support as well. Peer Support can also be helpful if you need to vent about some of these conversations.


In conclusion, what have you found that works for you? Everyone has their own little tricks of the trade, share some or one of them if you feel so inclined.