- Forum
- Safety & Knowledge at 7 Cups
- It can be scary to confront people because....
It can be scary to confront people because....
I don't know if they won't turn against me and try to ostracize me.
Once you have let that confrontation come out no matter what the outcome, you can never take it back
They're so big and scary and mean and sometimes they don't like you and they hit you or call you a failure and then you go home and cry.
you have no idea how they'll react. Confronting them might make the situation even worse than it was before .
I don't know what their reaction will be... what if I make someone hate me?
They may reject me or misunderstand or verbally or physically attack me like an ex-neighbor did.
I'm scared of their opinion, failure, rejection. My anxiety just makes it seem as though so many things can go wrong
You cannot know if they are being honest with you. Also, you don't know that person's intentions. Words can be thrown and expressed easily these days. According to words alone, anyone can be anything.
do not know what response you will get for no reason they could yell at you making you feel like you have done something wrong shattering your confidence
I fear the judgement of other people. I always think that I could let them down.
You fear what people will think about what they'll think about it. You fear their judgement and the outcome / consequences of doing so.
I am afraid of offending others or them attacking me for my opinions
@wittySpruce8187 that's been my experience, they want to hurt you, especially when you point out that they have done something wrong.
Confronting anyone can be scary, because there is no way to know how they will react.
What if you say the wrong thing?
What if they get mad at you?
What if they turn everyone against you?
What if they hate you after?
What if youre not taken seriously and they laugh at you?
---Possible Pre-Trigger Warning---
Anxiety, paranoia, and the PTSD/C (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Syndrome) are reasons I am very scared to confront people.
If I see someone else getting hurt, well of course, I will step in. I have any one's back. I've defended people whom I've had many issues with, or may totally want to disrespect. But no, I don't do that.
I'd like to say, what behind all the fear of confonting people, is they will judge you. Judge you on why you did it. How you did it. Your reasoning. Their own opinion versus yours. Etc, etc.
There's good and bad situations. I've become very obersvant of people. Watching their reactions to other things. The way they talk. If they are breathing fast or anxious commonly seen in lying; if they're happy about certain things, body language, even to the way they walk. And I don't confront the people who appear threatening. Although, I have confronted some people in that term, that have taken it well, and actually thanked me for calling them out, once I explained why I said or did what I did, and made my point.
But also, I do reccomend you remember this: Get their side of the story, too. Don't only offer your input or questioning, opinion, whatever it be. Ask them why they did what they did. At times, I reflect on what they did and what they did. It goes smoother too, if you make an effort to valid them. "I'd understand why you'd want to say F*** You to that person, but sometimes it's best to just walk away." Validation makes the person feel like they're being listened to. "I understand you were inpatient at the line, but it's no need to shove people out of the way." Those are 2 things I commonly call people out on. Disrespecting others and when it comes to safety.
And to be honest, it becomes exhausting, because I absolutely dislike standing up for myself. I've almost always had bad experiences. But somehow, I have no problem if I am calling out others on being rude to someone else. But if they arte being rude to me, I use sarcasm because I am so uncomfortable calling one out.
I'm not very good at staying calm when trying to argue my point , and then I get so flustered that I shake and I yell louder than I think I'm going to yell , and I can't think straight so I forget things and then that just further makes them seem right , even when I know I'm right ..I just can't explain it. I'm also afraid of what would happen - how a person would react. I'm not a fighter at all, but do feel strongly when it comesnto the welbeing of my children.
It can be scary to confront people because we simply can't predict their reaction and this can sometimes be unnerving.
I think it is because people in general are unpredictable and you can only control the way you will react.
You dont know how theyll respond. And even if they are supportive of whatever it is your confronting them about, sometimes its still hard to be vulnerable and put yourself out there.
the fear of saying the wrong thing and offending someone by mistake (which has happened before)
You never know what they will say, if they understand. Youlol scared theyll never know your situation and be able to help. Its more then just letting someone in but letting your control go.
The fear that they will see our mistakes which makes us super vulnerable
Because you might lose them forever.... or they won't accept their mistakes....
It's scary to confront people for me because I always worry I have misunderstood what they said/did and that I am misreading the situation.