Anti-bullying Awareness Month: It can be intimidating to ask for help because....
Hello everyone, I hope you are taking it easy on yourself.
Last week we attempted: Anti-bullying Awareness Month: Take the Quiz. I appreciate everyone who attempted it so far, if you haven't yet, attempt the quiz here!
Asking for help is often seen as a sign of vulnerability or weakness, leading many individuals to hesitate before seeking assistance. The fear of judgment, rejection, or burdening others can make it intimidating to reach out for support. Additionally, self-reliance and the desire to maintain independence can hinder individuals from seeking the help they need.
So, today I want us to simply participate to complete this prompt.
Prompt: It can be intimidating to ask for help because....
@ASilentObserver
Hi Obs! 😊 ❤️ Thank you for this forum post as well as the prompt! This is something that I have thought a great deal about in the past in an effort to gain self awareness.
For me and especially in relation to 7 cups, in past moments....."It can be intimidating to ask for help because...."
I have been concerned of being a burden to others. I know we are all really busy people around here. I have empathy for others as well as respect for their time and I don't want for others to feel that I am just another on their list of things to "deal with".
I have been concerned about reaching out for help and support as I don't want to disappoint others. I hold leadership roles so there should be certain expectations of me, to be able to handle myself and certain situations. I feel that I should be adept at conflict resolution and negotiation, to try my personal best as these are things that I even help to teach others here on the platform.
I take what I do here on the platform seriously and I'd like to think that I am highly self governed. I care and I try hard. It would be the worst feeling in the world to be seen as someone that is untrustworthy, whiny, needy, someone that needs to be "spoon fed" or baby sat with each and every issue that comes along.
I have been highly selective of when to reach out for help because I would like to be taken seriously. I would never want to be seen in the same light of the story of "The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf". I would rather it be noted that if I am reaching out for help, I have exhausted all other efforts, I have tried my personal best and that there must be something quite unique about the situation for me to "raise the red flag". There is something there in the situation that is causing a reason for me to have to reach out, something only someone in a position of authority would be able to sift through and find resolution for.
It's highly likely that if I reach out for help, it's something that I see that is highly detrimental to not only me and impeding my process to do good work here, but to others as well and the platform at large. If they are doing it to me, it's likely they are doing it to others and it's just not okay. Corrective action should be kind, but yet also swift and it's not my role to provide that.
I guess also there is always the concern of being ignored or not helped effectively. This to me, adds insult to injury and just makes the issue even worse. These are things that hurt ones heart and can break ones spirit.
I, in turn, don't want to be disappointed by others. I think that is fair. 😊 I want to believe in the leadership. I want to believe that the help and support will be there for me. If I'm not helped and supported, this erodes trust and the relationship. People become "shrinking violets" and interact less in the community over time if this happens.
As in real life, with relationships can come adversity. We sure do have a variety of different "ships" here in the community. There can come moments where only someone in a position of authority can intercede and for a myriad of different reasons.
Thanks again for the great forum post!
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with us. It sounds like seeking help can be difficult when you feel responsible for others or worry about being a burden. Those are very understandable feelings. What strengths or past experiences help you determine when a situation truly requires reaching out for support? You are dedicated to your work and wanting to resolve issues in a kind yet effective way.
@ASilentObserver
Hi Obs! 😊 ❤️ Many thanks for your response as well as for your question!
I think one of the strengths that I have is being incredibly patient. I'm slow to anger, quick to forgive, I don't hold grudges and I see each day as a new one and each interaction independent of others. I try really hard to think that perhaps it was simply a misunderstanding, that maybe someone was just having a bad day, etc. I don't "equalize" in the situation meaning I don't meet negativity with negativity.
I give others many chances to make better choices. I remain kind even if they are not and I sincerely try to *work through the path of the problem*. I'd rather them come to their own epiphany that I am trying hard, that I mean no harm and perhaps come to the realization that I don't deserve to be treated that way.
Knowing that I have been patient and kind, have done nothing to stand in their way or "retaliated", can be quite telling that I'm simply dealing with a bully that will not stop. It's unfortunate, but these things do happen. I'm not here for that. 7 cups does not want for any of us to be an emotional punching bag for others or to be targeted.
Knowing these things gives me the strength and confidence to finally reach out to administration for support. No matter how kind or patient anyone is, we all reach our "tipping" point at some time. We come to the realization that we are dealing with something much bigger than ourselves, that it's not a "me problem" it's a "them problem" and there will be no resolution without admin. interceding to take corrective action in regard to the negative behavior.
While I don't hold grudges, being able to explain to administration all of the ways in which one has tried over time on their very own, explaining the history of the negative behavior, I feel can be helpful to show to them, that one has exhausted all of their resources and that it's simply a behavioral issue.
I don't dislike people however, I am allowed to dislike behaviors. Knowing in ones heart that they tried their best, did all they could on their very own is quite freeing when handing the situation over to administration. I let it go and then move on. 😊
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
Thanks for the post Obs.
It can be intimidating to ask for help because I might be expected to handle it on my own.
@amiablePeace77 I agree Ami. It is understandable to feel intimidated about asking for help when facing difficulties alone. What thoughts or feelings arise for you as you consider opening up to others?
@ASilentObserver I absolutely love this very insightful
Today, I participate by reading and simply completing this prompt.
It can be intimidating to ask for help because....If I ask for help, it can feel like I'm complaining about the person/s who are bullying me. Or if the bully finds out I asked for help, there can be more bullying or harsher words still. example - "What? You can't even stand up for yourself? You have to ask (friend, teacher, principal, parent, etc)."
There is the fear of retaliation simply because you acknowledged there is a problem. If you "ignore" it... well, in the case of bullying (in my experience), it does not just go away. Although I remember hoping that it would, many times.
P.S. Important note! If you are struggling with someone who is bullying you right now... if you are not sure if what the other person is saying or doing, if it is bullying or not... if you don't know what to do in your situation... then...
I, Platy, am very glad you are here! 7cups is a great place to look for help, to be able to talk, or to read and get more information.
Thanks for reading this. And I, this one Platy in the Northern part of the USA, I am glad you, yes YOU, are here. Right now.
(I offer you *hug,* especially if you definitely need one!) (if that feels weird, that's ok- no hug and... cookie? :) Do take care of yourself! <3 Platy
@anomalia @heather225 @glenm @moj @kindDay4067 @internalacceptance @sparkygizmo @purpletree6 @sunisshiningandsoareyou @yourcaringconfidant @fristo @politeOcean @soulfullyAbutterfly @cheerymango @ASilentObserver
and yes, friends who know Platy... I, Platy, will take care of myself too. Starting with, but not limited to!, getting off of 7cups, taking SST outside, and then taking self to bed!! Good night, all 7cups friends! and future friends! Happy CupsGiving! :)
@cyanPlatypus6370
❤️❤️❤️
@cyanPlatypus6370
Always so kind and thoughtful. *hugs* Platyy!🤗❤
@cyanPlatypus6370 Thank you Platy for sharing. I understand how difficult it can feel to ask for help when facing bullying. Standing up for ourselves can take courage, especially when we worry about what others may say or do in response. You are right that ignoring bullying does not make it go away - those feelings tend to fester without support.
@cyanPlatypus6370 Thanks for the tag. You are absolutely amazing, thoughtful, and kind my sweet platypus. ♡ I gladly take one of those hugs from you. :) I am glad you mentioned you taking time out for you because here I go back at my self care. Happy Thanksgiving. ♡ Hugs.
@ASilentObserver
@ASilentObserver
Hello, Observer! I appreciate your thoughtfulness in making this forum post. 😊❤️
In my opinion, it can be incredibly intimidating to ask for help because, as humans, we often grapple with a profound sense of vulnerability. It's a deeply ingrained fear within us to expose our inner struggles and perceived weaknesses to others. We worry about being judged, rejected, or seen as incapable. The idea of burdening someone else with our problems can feel like an immense weight on our shoulders, causing us to hesitate and question whether reaching out is worth it. Our desire for independence and self-reliance further complicates the matter, as we strive to maintain a façade of independence and self-reliance further complicates the matter, as we strive to maintain a façade of strength and competence. It's a complex and deeply human struggle to reconcile our need for assistance with our longing for autonomy. The fear of asking for help stems from a fear of being seen as imperfect, flawed, or inadequate, which can be an incredibly daunting prospect for anyone.
@crypticwhisperss1 Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Whisper. It takes courage to open up about such personal struggles. The desire to appear independent while also wanting support is understandable and experienced by many. What feelings arise as you consider reaching out for help despite these challenges?
@ASilentObserver Thank you for your kind words and understanding! When I consider reaching out for help despite these challenges, a mix of emotions arises within me. Firstly, there is a sense of vulnerability, as opening up about personal struggles can make me feel exposed and uncertain about how others will respond. There's a fear of judgment or rejection, which can be quite daunting. However, beneath that vulnerability, there is also a glimmer of hope and relief. The thought of sharing my burdens with someone who may offer support, empathy, and guidance feels comforting. It's a reminder that I don't have to face everything alone. There's a sense of anticipation, wondering if reaching out will lead to a deeper connection or understanding with another person. Ultimately, it's a complex mix of emotions, but the desire for support and the possibility of finding solace outweighs the fear of vulnerability. 😊❤️
@ASilentObserver Hi Obs, As someone who has grappled with this very issue, I understand the weight that asking for help can carry. It's not easy to admit vulnerability or to risk potential rejection. For me, there's always been this fear of burdening others or appearing incapable. But I've come to realize that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness; it's a display of courage and self-awareness.
It took me some time to accept that I can't always do everything alone. And even though I value my independence, I've learned that there's strength in recognizing when I need support. Whether it's seeking advice, emotional reassurance, or practical assistance, reaching out has often been the first step toward overcoming challenges.
And you know what? More often than not, people are willing to lend a hand without judgment or hesitation. It's a reminder that we're all human, and we all need a little help sometimes. So, if you're feeling hesitant, know that you're not alone. Asking for help is a courageous act, one that can lead to growth, connection, and ultimately, a stronger sense of community.
@ASilentObserver Hi obs, Identifying bullying involves recognizing targeted behavior that aims to make someone feel bad or hurt, encompassing verbal, psychological, and cyber forms. It's vital to break the silence, seek help, and surround yourself with support to regain control. Remember, the bully's words do not define you, and seeking help is a courageous step toward healing and resilience
@ASilentObserver
It can be intimidating to ask for help because....
The whole experience is unknown and can't really expect what the other's response/view would be. Will they think I'm in fault? Complaining much? Playing victim? When dealing with an issue that has been greatly impacting someone's life, the last thing they want is one of there trials to get better or even just express there emotions, to turn against them and make them feel a lot worse than they are.
Another thing is hopelessness. The fear to hear just another response that doesn't actually help your current situation or just shows sympathy, can hold someone back from reaching out for support, as it can make them feel like nothing can be done in their situation.