Tips on Finding a Perfect Listener
Excuse me if I put this in the wrong section. If I did, feel free to move it to another section or another forum.
I noticed a huge problem the other day.
It is really, really hard to find that perfect, understandable, lovely listener that the site promises to open gates to.
That's when I realised... Aubrynn needs to find some way...
To FINALLY end this.
Introducing...
Aubrynn Da Pizza's Ultimate Guide to Finding a Perfect Listener as a member!
Below are some tips I use in order to find the perfect listener..!
1. Choose a category. As simple as this sounds, when we first came, we all clicked that CONNECT NOW button first. (At least, for those chats that weren't in 2013. The button probably didn't exist. Or something. Maybe we should ask @GlenM about that. But anyway, that's not something that matters.) When you choose a category (e.g. Addiction, ADHD, Bullying, Depression, Chronic Pain, Grief, etc) from the stack of choices from Noni, Listeners who are more adapted to taking chats on that topic and are more suitable and experienced on that topic will take your chat. Apart from that, if you don't put a category, it's a bit like biting in a piece of chocolate not knowing what the inside is. Or eating a sandwich that you don't know what is in there. Either way, by doing that, your chat may be accepted quicker or a preferred chat. Apart from that, a listener more suited to your situation and more helpful will be able to link up with you. Believe it or not, clicking on a category helped me change my waiting time from a full half an hour (until I gave up) to 30 seconds - I am NOT lying.
2. Use the Browse Listeners button. We were taught by our teachers that we are the ones that know ourselves best. We know what's good for us, what will make us cringe and what will not. We know ourselves because of experience. That's why you should Browse Listeners. Insert some keywords. If you're looking to chat in a specific language, filter that. Browse a specific topic. Find a listener that is perfect for you. Read their bios. Do their age and tone of their bio seem nice? What reviews have they got? You can see it like that.
3. Verified Listeners. Ooh. Who are they? There's around 6000-7000 verified listeners right now, and the number is growing as the Verifiers Team led by @PolarCat and other leaders are working to get more listeners verified! You may wonder what it takes to be verified. Ooh, let me tell you about that too! Verified listeners have to be professional, compassionate, resourceful, empathetic, helpful and respond within minutes if they're online. They usually are better listeners, as they have completed a mock chat with a verifier beforehand... meaning that they're probably a great listener! When finding a listener in Browse Listeners, check the Verified Listener button and you'll be able to find them.
4. Join in Group Support Chats. I've witnessed this several times - listeners who are for that specific topic usually hangs out there. If they seem to be nice and a perfect match, that's alright then! Ping them and see if they're available to chat or schedule a chat. Drop a message saying, 'Hey there, I saw you in the group support room and I was wondering if you could support me on the topic of ____ since you sound like a great listener.' or anything you want. Either way, don't fret. You will find that perfect listener.
5. Be Grateful and Patient. This is probably the biggest tip of all. Listeners are volunteers but unfortunately, loads of members are hateful and rude. It's important to remind ourselves to appreciate them and to care about them too. Be nice to them and tell them you're thankful. Drop a message and let them know they made your day! Be patient - it's hard to find that perfect listener. If this one doesn't reply soon, just wait for the reply. If not, ping a few others. Don't give up. Find that perfect listener eventually.
And that wraps up Aubrynn's official guide in finding a perfect listener! Got any addition to my thoughts? Feel free to share below!
Tagging random people I have never talked to because, why not... and some that I have talked to.
@steadfaststatue @bunnypants @caringbrit @laura @kate @davemcgrath @irishcat @danamh @eccho @hope @power @asilentobserver @bouncyfriend13 @mintleaf @erato @ailurablaze @soundkind36 @kyliek @heatherfeatherc @kindstephen
I know that it can be hard to find that listener who can truly click with you. But to tell you, that even us listeners can also have a hard time to click with the members. As much as possible we want to give our best in supporting them and we somehow leave an impact on them. It can also be nerve-wracking for us whenever we receive new member chats, because we have to adjust with the member's personality and attitude and we make sure that the member receives the best support we can give. But I guess that's just normal, same goes with the members connecting with the listeners. 💖 So don't worry if there are listeners who didn't meet your expectations, that doesn't mean you should give up in finding the right one for you. Each of the listeners has their own listening style. They have their own strengths and weaknesses too 💜 Let's hope that there will come a time that you'll be able to find that listener who can support you in every step you take. And I wanna commend @Aubrynn for this lovely post! This is what we also suggest to those who are looking for listeners to talk to because sometimes it's taking too long for members' requests to be picked up in the queue.
@Erato Thank you, and yup that's very true.
For links to more information about finding the right listener, have a look here: Finding & Reviewing A Listener
A couple of other tips:
- The reviewing part is also important. If you get a bad listener, do leave a review. If you get a bad listener who blocks you, write to community@7cups.com By doing these things you can help improve the standard of listeners generally.
- If you need to chat immediately, choose a listener who is online and has a Chat Now button in their profile. People often try to chat to me when I'm not here!
@RarelyCharlie I've stumbled upon that link and yay for sharing it again! c: it's a great and detailed resource
@RarelyCharlie I didn't see this previously, sorry about cluttering the forums
Oh, I don't think there's any need to apologize. Forums are the place to express your thoughts, and your thoughts on finding a perfect listener are as valued as anyone else's.
There was an announcement a while ago about organizing some information in a different way (in a wiki), but I haven't seen anything about it recently. I think the wiki, if it ever happens, will make it easier to find certain information, but harder to express individual points of view—for that we will still need the forums.
@Aubrynn
@RarelyCharlie
Hm.. Oki doki then 
!
I thought you made a wiki.. 8th cup, wasn't it? 
Maybe you should talk with @Laura, I feel like it would be a great addition to the 7 cups official page
@RarelyCharlie Thanks for the links though
Hi thanks for tagging me, as a listener it is rewarding when you have a chatter you can click with and of course it has its challenges too!
@Aubrynn Thank you for this guide! This is exactly what I tell members to do to find a good listener. I have zero improvements to bring to you. 
@Aubrynn ty for tagging me :) awesome guide no improvements to add either this is also exactly pointers i would point out for those struggling great job :)