Dont know the next step
So, my husband and I have decided to temporarily separate due to my depression. He couldnt handle it any. Which really sucks because I see him as my support and anchor. But i am to work on myself during this time and get myself better. Im waiting on my insurance to kick in so I can set myself up an appointment, but beyond that I have no idea on how to "get better". Im trying to set myself up a plan. Work out, meditate, what have you, but I cant get myself to do anything without someone there for me. What do I do? Depression is hard on your own and im having a hard time figuring out how to get on the road to getting myself in a good place. Or even just advice on how to deal with it would be nice. I have no idea what im doing....
@Teddyrose77347
OK, that last post was a flub, sorry...really struggling with how to do all this.
I really hear you - it is so very hard. I know what I need to do, but do not have enough life left in me to take a step. I think this website is a great start and glad to see your post - you're brave! I told my hub a while back that I would walk - he could have everything, just so he would not have to deal with me anymore. He said no. The holes gotten even deeper and darker since then. Even though we're both still here I feel like it might be easier working it out if we'd split. Sometimes I feel his support works for him but not me (not sure how to put that into words clear). I hide when I need to cry and have not even told him about 7Cups yet. Still contemplating a med - he's all for it - but I really don't want to just put on a bandaide. (and zero help from insurance so on my own there) My biggest lift has been chatting with a couple of listeners 1 on 1. It took desperation to click but now it's got me here. Guess what I am saying is I am still trying to pull a plan together, too. Maybe you can open up more opportunities for healing by yourself.
Here is a big huskyPOWER HUG from me to you, to help start you on your way. (i'm such a putz...been like an hour writing this) @Teddyrose77347
@huskyPOWER thank you. It may sound silly but knowing that im not the only one going through a situation like this kinda helps a bit. I found a video on youtube to help explain what im going through to my husband. He says he understands it because hes goin g2g through depression too, but if he was I feel like this wouldnt be happening. Ill put a link up whèn im done so maybe you can find something in it to help too. But knowing im not alone does help oodles. (I really used that word...wow) But you keep fighting too, okay. If you maybe wanna talk about things more or just want a sympathetic ear from time to time my email.is whitewingchic@gmail.com
@huskyPOWER its called depression, a secret we all share. Its a TED talks video and a bit lengthy, but it explains a lot of what im going through and everybody else with it is going through in a way I cant explain. Im hoping my husband will watch it and see that this is why for a while now the house isnt clean and why I needed to ask for help with taking care of our daughter. That im not making it up
@Teddyrose77347 Thanks for the link. I am going to watch now (not sleeping). It is ironic you send this as I actually googled the other day to try and find some insight on how spouses experience their partners depression, so I could see through his eyes, not only to understand what he might be going thru better - it's got to be hell for him, but maybe help him better understand how awful I really feel.
I also seen one of your feeds and noticed you are not into facebook - I am not a facebooker, by choice (there are actually times I think it might be evil). But it does leave a person disconnected when they opt out of facebook.
@Teddyrose77347 WOW! Great video, really grasps some emotions that are hard to put in words. Did your hubby watch? I may try and have mine watch. (also looking for another tidbit I read awhile back that was gruelingly poignant) He initiated a short conversation yesterday, which is progress! I started to read a book Fall in Love, Stay in Love (Willard Harley) - I'll let you know how it goes.
It was great to meet you in the support room the other night. I don't get much time on this site, work is very long, demanding hours and unfortunately keeping the bills paid gets top priority, not flubbering around trying to understand how to navigate a website. The chat rooms get VERY confusing to follow.
Hope you are making some headway? Get a Drs appointment? - let me know!
huskyPOWER HUG!
