How to deal with desperation for a relationship ?
So the last few months, after all the things that happened in my love life that made me feel abandoned and like it’s impossible for me to find someone to love me for who I am in a romantic way, a desperate feeling started growing on me. I just wanted to have someone to be there for me. To experience love and that give some color in my life and make me have something to look forward to. At night it’s hard for me to sleep without thinking how much I’d like to have someone to cuddle with and feel some affection. I don’t have anyone I can think of and I end up thinking being with my ex online boyfriend and other people I can’t actually be with. And when I try to ground myself in reality and see how my life is right now, I see how it’s boring and there’s nothing to really be excited for. I want to feel the way I felt when I was in love with that guy in my class who rejected me. And the bad thing is that I don’t know how someone could ever make me feel this way again. I’ve never felt more comfortable than I did with him. He was like my best friend but he meant so much more to me. Even though I don’t think of him anymore and I’m over him, I’m not over the fact that I want someone like him to make me feel this way. I don’t know how I’ll find someone in the near future but if you ask me, that’s what I want the most right now