Why do I resort to doing this

@Tt1024 I can fully relate- that was me to the letter 5 years ago but I never cheated. For the first time in ever, I wanted to not cheat but there's a toxic me that takes over when I'm angry so I end up doing things that are completely inappropriate responses to a situation. I'm a sex addict and my pain used to be soothed with sex and drugs. I started caring about myself and lost the desire to act out in that manner through prayer and meditation, Complete Honesty. Pm me if you want to talk.

@placidBlueberry28 thank you I will pm you Id like to learn more about how youve helped yourself

@placidBlueberry28 I

My wife told me about two months ago that she no longer loves me and wants to move half around the globe to be with another guy she found on Facebook. Since then I never slept more than three hours each night, my heart is racing constantly, I get panic and anxiety attacks, and crash into a sobbing mess.

A few days ago I got the idea to just move on and find a new mate. I've been through all dating sites and they all suck.So I go and delete all my profiles and figure I wait...just to start over next night when I wake up at 2AM. Got to talk to someone for a day and it was nice until the questions came about my mother's name and if I can buy her a gift card for online gaming....probably a 60 year old truck driver from New Jersey scamming people.

Last night I was at it again. Found a new site and got bombarded with messages from women from Thailand and Ukraine who think I'm hot stuff. So spent an hour cleaning up as much of my profiles as I could....just to stumble across another site and signing up.

I tell you that to show that when we are under stress and anxious we do dumb stuff over and over again. I never experiences so much emotional stress before, but your reaction is normal. We want so much to fix things and stop the hurting. Everyone tells me things will pass and that it will get better, but I lost faith. But there will be another day and another day and even right now, it does not hurt so much anymore despite my wife telling me that she is going to video chat with her new friend. It all still feels wrong.

Anyhow...sometimes it feels good to see that someone is interested in us, even if it is fake interest from randon dating site members. Just make sure that you stay safe. Already got enough issues to deal with. It is difficult, but maybe now is not the right time to look for a new soulmate, a person who treats us right, someone who wants to love us and not abuse us. Have patience....I try the same thing and I know it is so hard to do.

@tallNickel7562 thank you for your response, I wish you well in your struggles as well, hang in there!