What is wrong with me?

@Lonelypetvet I know how you feel, its been rough for me as well. I was great at dating in my 20s and it was a lot easier back then. Now I'm in my 40's and it's rough

maybe its just not your time yet it could be various reasons but i do hear its harder to date when you are older i wouldn't worry too much about it till the time comes best of luck to you other wise

@Lonelypetvet

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

I just want get this off my chest. I am thirty years old and cant make a romantic relationship work. (This is something I have seen quite a lot in other people as well. It's hard to know how a relationship work or how it should be if you didn't see how a healthy and loving relationship looks like). Every relationship I have ever been in is all peachy for the first couple months, the honeymoon phase, and then after that the significant other never develops feelings from me past being a friend. (I wish you could have say more about this part, but there's a few reasons I could think of that lead to this which are; 1) If you are communicating the relationship vibe (it's going to make her back away if she is not ready), 2) If you are opening up too much about your past such as rejections, disappointments etc (This should wait until a connection is built and it should be done after 6-7 months slowly), 3) If you tell her how you feel when she has not show signs or subtle hints that she likes you (This will make her back away and she will bring up the "lets be friends" speech. 4) If you don't go for the kiss (This will make her feel uneasy and strange, and will think you don't have the confidence and then it'll turn her off), 5) If you tell her about how much money you make, your work, esentially trying to prove yourself and seek her validation (This will turn her off), and other reasons, but those are the ones coming to mind). No matter how hard I try they never develop strong emotional feeling for me. (You are trying too hard, which tells me you are very eager to receive love, which makes communicate that to her during texts, calls, body language dates and then they will pick up on it which will make them turn off). First off I am 30 years old, why cant I make a relationship work past 3 or 4 months? I dont want to be alone forever. (This mindset will make you act more eager, she will pick up on it and then she will back away which will make you text her too much) Second it is very frustrating that every time I get comfortable with someone and start to trust them,(Trusts actually should start much after four months when you take the time to know her and then leading to a relationship, but you are trusting very fast which will make you open up too fast to the point they will back away) he is always done with me. Thirdly, why am I so unlovable? (No one is unloveable, its just you internalized them leaving with "Im unloveable", because you truly want to feel love and validated, however you got to think about the other person as well. If you enter a relationship, then you'll place unmet needs on them and will cling to them for validation. It's very important to overcome your past before attempting a relationship. A relationship is meant to enrich you, not complete you or making it your source of happiness)

Moved this to our brand new 'Being Single!' subforum in the Relationship Support Community

@Lonelypetvet,

This is a big no-no to say to you - you should NEVER think of you as unlovable,it is you who should love yourself in the first place,show love towards you first and then you will attract people who respect and care about you.Start with self-love and self-care first.Do yoh show yourself the love you deserve,do you treat yourself the way you treat your best friend?Start practising self-care ,let go of all expectations and maybe things will turn out ok in the end!Start building the life you want and deserve and the rest will follow!

Hi there

I hope you are feeling better . I saw your post and felt that I had to reply to you as you reminded me of myself. I had always felt unlovable and my relationships never got past the honeymoon phase too. I always believed that perhaps I didn't deserve love and that there was something wrong with me. But then a year and a half ago, at the age of 40, I met a lovely man who is now my fiancee 😊.

I guess what I'm trying to say Is, don't give up. If it can happen to me, I'm sure it can happen to you too. And believe me, I thought I would be single forever!!

In the meantime just get on and enjoy your life. The right one will come alongwhen you least expect it . You may just have to be a little bit patient, but you know what they say ' the best things come to those who wait.'

I hope this has helped you a little bit. All the best to you xx😊