Toxic parents
My parents are trying to control me in every way , they said me that only they have the right to make any decisions in my life , I cant take this anymore , what do I do?
I am 25 years old and I do a job . I saw my parents fighting ovee tiniest issues from my childhood , I grew up watching them how not to be parents. There is not even a single day without fights in my home and eventually my younger sister also added with them. Due to covid it has become even more worse . So I lied in my home(return to office) and came far away. They dont even let me go to terrace , use phone , I am 25 and I still have to sleep with them . Even after coming far , they still trigger me on phone calls , they get angry and yell at me for evrything , they campare my salary with other people of my age , the blackmail me if I dont listen to them . Now they are forcing me into getting married too . What do I do? , I am breaking down and becoming weak day by day. I am soo tired of everything thats going on.
Sorry for my english and I am bot sure if anyone sees this but if anyone does please help me a way out of this. Thank you!
@tidyCoconut9485
This level of control that you describe is quite ridiculous for a 25 year old or for any age! Now that you've managed to be outside their roof and earning your own money, it might be time to claim your own space too. Yes, as you've described, they might behave badly or call your friends etc. If you are willing to let your current world which you built on your own (friends, colleagues) that you're trying to enforce some healthy boundaries with your parents so they can ignore such calls from them - (which, it's really not okay for them to be calling your friends with blackmail or drama!)
We have a self help guide on creating and maintaining healthy boundaries within relationships. I'll share the guide here for you to go through -
https://www.7cups.com/boundaries/
In the meantime, please do not be forced or blackmailed to marry someone - You deserve to be happy.
Much strength to you!
I don't know how old are you but no matter what, parents tend to be controlling no matter the age.
I moved out at 21 on my own and they still to be controlling on my daily life.
I told them I am thankful that they gave me everything until now and raised me to be a good guy but that's it.
Now my decisions are mine to take, no matter if right or wrong, for as long as I learn from them, that's on me.
Told them that if they don't stop "giving me advice" and telling me what to do, I won't respond them on the phone and for some time I even met them only once a month for just a few hours to eat lunch with them until they just understood that I am not a kid anymore and just accepted it.
Maybe it's easier for me since I moved out but you should tell them to let you breathe also otherwise they might lose any love you have for them.
I moved outt , still they do the same thing. If I try to cut off the phone they call my friends . It is so bad that I informed them about the trip which I wanted to go , they got furious about that saying I cant go anything without their permission.
If you have your own money, they have no right in being furious.
If they keep interfering in your life cut them off completely, ask your friends to block them and you block them also.
If they don't learn their place, they can't make you more stressed.
My parents kept interfering with my life, what job to get, where I would go, with who I was going out.
I simply wouldn't respond to the phone, I removed them from ***, I didn't meet them for 2 straight months.
Then I just decided to talk to them one day and they had gotten super soft because they understood that they would lose me if they kept being super controlling.
They just accepted that I am a mature adult willing to do everything with my life without needing anyone else.
@tidyCoconut9485,
cut all ties with them for now. No calls, no visits. Stand your ground. It is your life, not theirs.
I come from a toxic home. I'm learning to adapt to my circumstances and deliver best I can
