Rocky marriage
I’ve only been married 2 years and I’m already feeling worried. I’m growing less and less attracted to my husband and I’m getting bored in our marriage. He is 10 years older than me and when we first met we had so much fun together. We were instantly connected and became best friends and inseparable. Now 7 years and one kid later, I’m finding myself looking forward to the time we spend apart. He’s getting fat and grey, this really bothers me that he doesn’t care to take care of his physical appearance. He’s also going to bed before 10pm and some nights before 8pm. He is 46 and goes to bed before our kid who is not yet 2 years old. And We don’t have any intimacy at all. I feel like I have to beg him to be sexual with me and even still it’s less than twice a month. We don’t even cuddle. We barely even talk about anything anymore. He has so many responsibilities that he has made for himself and he overloads his plate constantly. Then he gets stressed out and then I get the grump stressed out guy who only has time for his smoke and his beer before he’s asleep on the couch. I stopped sleeping with him because he snores and I cannot sleep like that. So we haven’t shared a bed in almost two years. I keep hoping for a time when the stress is gone and when he is t feeling over worked and overwhelmed but to be honest the idea of cheating on him excites me. And because he has such a lack of interest in intimacy I don’t think he would even care if I found a new friend. Sometimes I think he would even appreciate me having someone else to rely on for emotional comfort and sexual pleasure. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave him not having only been married two years. I want to make things work. We have talked about feeling like we are just not on the same page anymore on numerous occasions. Maybe even once a month when my irritability is high and tolerance too low. And when we talk we both are emotional together and we say we will make things better but we go through this every month. I get jealous of other people who are happy in their marriage and attracted to their husbands. I feel stupid for falling for him and I feel like I could have done so much better. I’m scared that I made the wrong decision and now I’m stuck. When we met I was so dark and depressed and heartbroken and I’m scared that I moved too fast because I was jaded. Please help if anyone has any advice.