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Relationship

walnuts8199 April 11th, 2017

I have insecurities about myself because I constantly compare myself with other girls and hence somehow hamper our relationship...Instead of building our bond, I try and break it because of overthinking and insecurities...Now that I know what my problems are, I need solutions for it

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Vale9049 April 11th, 2017

@walnuts8199 I feel teh same I think I am not good enough. I would like to be another person becuase everybody is betther that me.

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daydreammemories September 17th, 2023

@walnuts8199

Hi! Hope you're doing okay :)

Regarding what you said, these insecurities differ from one person to another and have different causes.

Sometimes we are really scared about losing that relationship, so we overthink about every little detail that can mess up our relationship, right? It can be due to a flaw we made it our pervious relationships, something we have seen and heard of, or even just our own set of thoughts. We may even have social anxiety or low self-esteem.

Fist of all, we should try to avoid negative thoughts, you have to retain the way you think about yourself and stop labeling yourself. A foundation of trust between you and your partner is also important. A safe place where you both can share your thoughts and concerns. Focusing at the present moment and appreciating what you have now may also be helpful.

And last but not least, if you feel like these kind of thoughts are causing significant distress and are getting challenging to manage, you can seek professional help from a therapist, group therapy or support groups.

Wishing you a lifetime of happiness :)

@daydreammemories



iamwithyoutoo September 18th, 2023
@walnuts8199 i understand your situations. i had the same experienced too. It's not easy to soul-search own comfort zone when we have insecurities & being comparative. But i always believe that there's always a way out for us to be free.

Just give it a pause to your current situation and breath new air by looking at other factors that can be beneficial for you. What do you see in you that other people dont have? cherish that factor.

Have some alone "me time" whenever you feel overwhelmed. cause, we are our own perception.

All the best to you

creativeOcean2431 September 19th, 2023
What kind of insecurities do you have? Comparing yourself to other individuals will always create problems and inferiority complexes. It is better to focus on your relationship and take it forward from there. @walnuts8199
AlphaSupporter October 20th, 2023

Heyy

Comparing ourselves to others in normal human behavior and everyone does it at least at some point. Specially females. So there's nothing to fix. You might wanna consider not pushing people away.

ChromaticFinss October 28th, 2023

@walnuts8199.

I appreciate for your willingness to change what doesn't work for you. I hope you know that each and every individual is unique. Still it's natural and common urge to compare ourselves to others. But don't forget that there is nothing called best. Being good or best in a relationship is a subjective thing. Everyone becomes a perfect partner when they meet their compatible person. The needs and parameters of your relationship is different from your friends. It's always good to adjust things if they doesn't work on your relationship. That doesn't mean that you are wrong or less.

You are indeed an awesome person, and I'm glad that you recognize where you feel things go wrong. Identifying the problems in the first and biggest part. Working on it to make a difference is much easier than that since the solution is already within you. Don't change yourself for others, change it for you only. 

linvi October 29th, 2023

@walnuts8199

well instead of thinking about how I feel I'm lacking, I think about how my assumptions that my boyfriend would leave me just because one girl has shinier hair than me is unfair to assume of HIM. I know he's not shallow and unfair, and I'm having to realize that this sweet loving person who I'm worried would leave me just because I don't feel enough, wouldn't. Think about what that assumption says about your trust in your partner and how you see them as well. If you truly think your partner is shallow and would disappear the second anyone "prettier" came along, then they're not the right partner. But if you really stop and realize that they wouldn't do this, and that your nervousness could be more of an assumption of their loyalty rather than insecurity, really helps. I wish you well :)

SensitiveHelper03 November 19th, 2023

@walnuts8199

Hi walnut, I hope you're doing okay!


About what you said... I know exactly how you feel and it is difficult. Most of our insecurities and negative thoughts come from our past experiences and we often end up thinking, hey what if this person hurts me the same way? What's helped me through this kind of situation is mostly turning to friends and family to talk through my emotions and insecurities and even seeking professional help like talking to a counselor or therapist. It's important to deal with the pain and hurt and the root causes of the negative thoughts and insecurities. That way it's healthier to be in a relationship with another person.

aurora4260 December 3rd, 2023

I can understand. And sounds like it has been bugging your mind a lot. I sincerely apologize that you're feeling this way. Sometimes overthinking leads situation to something serious. If you think that overthinking is affecting your relationship. Then it'd be a great help for your relationship if you try to avoid the negative thoughts of your overthinking. Also, you can communicate with your partner about how he feels, what you want to do or go to a place where you always wanted to go. This might help you to get over with the flow of it.