Loneliness
recently I’m feeling really lonely
Like every friend (I have a lot more friends to talk to now) and family is going thru a lot and I’m just so afraid that I’m gonna make their conditions worse because I’ve been there having to provide for so many people and never having the space for myself, so much so that everything was just going to fall apart if I’m not doing it perfectly or if I’m not providing enough for others. That state is so painful and I don’t want to contribute to other peoples pain and don’t want them to go through that.. ugh… having to go thru intense pain is double bad because you have fear that they’re gonna go thru the same thing as you did if you asked for help, but you suffer more when you reach out (hold up I realized that there’s a passion in me to offer others compassion, it’s very fulfilling I guess)
And it feels like at the end of the day it doesn’t really fill up this empty hole inside my heart figuratively. Like I’ll never be able to have someone else’s love
Now that I really to you I feel like my emptiness isn’t going to kill me but now I feel like my loneliness isn’t valid. Suddenly it doesn’t feel that intense but it feels really invalid, I guess this is one of the reasons why I didn’t want to reach out. It decreases this feeling that my loneliness is valid
And another reason why is because it’s hard to receive a reply that I want, so if I reach out it kinda hurts both parties
And maybe loneliness is so comforting at the same time, cuz that’s when I really get clarity and less thoughts and get to journal a lot more… but it’s so painful and sad when I do that though
I guess another reason I’m feeling lonely is.. Like I’ll never be able to meet someone else that went thru so much pain and had the resilience of getting thru it, while wanting to give so much compassion because they know what it feels like. And it’s painful and difficult to find someone that went thru so much but is still standing, functioning well like I am, and trying to improve. And that it’s also a cisgender gay male.
@SkyblueClementine1798
Hi sky.
Maybe sharing in sharing circle is good for you.
It's very good you have love/compassion to give. That make you a wonderful human being.
Many persons here at 7cups are lonely I have seen at sharing circle. That's sad.
All the best from Helga.
At least you have friends and family. I got no one around.
I don’t really need to hear that and I don’t appreciate that. I have my own set of struggles and it’s valid and real. It’s a pain to be lonely when you have people around you too
but instead I’ll take it as a reminder to be grateful (which I am proud for and grateful that I’m doing it for myself) But I really don’t need to hear that. When someone’s down and you just say “at least you have xxx” it’s very invalidating because you’re comparing your experience to mine and you’re just spreading more negativity
Hi,
I am really sorry for what everyone is going through here. Loneliness is really horrible, I believe one of the worst feelings and things that can happen to someone. The reason I am replying here is that I know all to well. I get teary when strangers try to help me because I feel so alone and even the people who matter to me or should care, I cannot rely on them, even though I try to be there for them, or at least tell them why I can't.
I really feel your pain and wanted to share with you because I think loneliness is devastating. If I didn't have someone call me a few minutes ago, I would still probably feel the same. I make use of hotlines when I can't talk to anyone I know - actually I never talk to anyone except for the last guy who wanted to be in my life, but then not, and not there when I really need him.
Now I am a bit tired and emotional, but I have decided that I will try do what I can to expand my social circle because isolating myself has not worked for me for a long time. The feeling that no one cares aside from family or friends, when I can't be around them, is horrible. When I have a major problem, I have to rely on myself most of the time. This is why when someone can provide just some emotional support, it means much more to me than anything practical, like for example money.
Right now I also happen to be in a situation where I feel stuck, and it's not because I am causing it but due to circumstances, I literally cannot leave my house due to car issues. I know it sounds trivial, but it's not. I think the best thing we can have is our independence and free will, knowing we can make changes ourselves. The worst feeling is feeling helpless and having to depend on others in my opinion.
Again I am sorry for your pain and suffering, I do also have religious beliefs, and I have been turning to those when I truly feel alone. I respect if you don't believe, I am just sharing what worked for me
I don't know if this is making sense, but I really do hope this helps someone, thank you and take care
Yes this really does help! I honestly did think I was alone until you shared this with me. It’s very relatable. It’s depressing even when you have ppl around you but the fear of relying on them or just reaching out because I’ve always gotten this message that I was a burden.
Thank you so much for sharing. Do you have instagram or any soc media account? We could support each other. They don’t allow direct msging here (which is dumb)
@SkyblueClementine1798 I have twitter, I have facebook but I am limiting it as it's becoming a bit stressful.
How would I go about sharing that? Are we allowed to do that? I just don't want to go public on here.
I am glad you feel a little less lonely now, and that I could help a little