@gomezvirginia81
There are two people in this relationship, you and him. Simply because you've both decided to live together does not mean that you merge into one person. You'd mentioned being intertwined, that is immediately what came to my mind. It means that many aspects of what you both share in life, are connected. That is perfectly normal and expected. After all, you're both living almost as if you're married - minus the sheet of paper that signifies such. In my opinion, granted I do not know both of you or your situation, but a year and living together sounds especially fast. This brings me to my next point and answers your question.
"How do I know if the relationship isn't going to work out?"
The short answer is, you don't. Nobody does. This is a relationship that both of you have started, created, developed, and fostered. This means that now that you've both chosen the path of living together, it comes with a bunch of responsibilities and consequences versus had you lived apart and continued dating. Relationships need time to develop naturally, over time, to build trust with one another, to learn about one another in various ways, and to cultivate a partnership. These are qualities that you both work on, typically when you're dating - however, by living together you've sped the clock up significantly and now there is a lot of anxiety on if things will work out and the reason is that there isn't much of a strong foundation, yet. It takes time to build a foundation for a relationship to thrive. It isn't that you're overreacting, but you're feeling the stress and anxiety that is developed when you (or both of you) are not yet secure in what you both share yet.
He is an individual before you met him. He remains and individual. Now the situation is different because you're going to see one another each and every day. So, with this adjustment, it means that you're both going to need to learn how to cohabitate (live peacefully) together. Please understand that a man's going to likely feel as though you're getting enough attention simply by being around you. He may not understand that there is a specific TYPE of attention that you're seeking from him. This means, communication. You'll need to sit him down and ask him, to be sure - then ask him if it's not too much trouble if he gives you the kind of attention that you're seeking. Learning to communicate, negotiate, and bargain for what you want is going to be a critical part of this relationship or even others down the road (if there are others).
So, how do you get over this feeling? Well: Time, Communication (without ultimatums), and a tremendous amount of patience.
One last thing, you're both going to have things that you both share as a couple, but there are still going to be things that you'll both want on your own - individuality. That is not only normal but very healthy for any relationship. You didn't merge. You're both still two different people, that have agreed to live together for the time being and make a relationship work between you. I'd highly suggest that you work on yourself, your own life, your own goals, your own ambitions, and find things that interest you for when he's busy or occupied so that it eases your stress when he's unwilling or not able to give you the kind of attention you need. Please understand that a man is not usually equipped to give you attention 24/7, he needs breaks, time to himself, and sometimes even solitude - but, most importantly his own self-identity which he did not trade in when you both decided to live together.
I hope that this helps you.
