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Kissing her gay best friend on the lips?
passionateShade936 December 23rd, 2019
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So I am dating a very independent girl and she is really open-minded. We can talk about nearly everything and she will be okay with it.
Recently, she asked me is it okay for her to kiss her gay best friend on the lip because that is what she used to do when she was still single while they are partying together. I know what the guy looks like and can confirm that he is gay. However, even though he is gay, it doesn't make it right. I feel really uncomfortable about this and told her that "I know he is your best friend, kissing him in the past is fine because you were single. I am okay with you guys holding hands or hugs but kissing is where I draw the line and as your boyfriend, I feel really uncomfortable about this". so she replied, "he is gay, nothing is going to happen between us". and I said "Yes, I know he is gay but why do you feel the need to kiss him. you have a boyfriend now and it makes me uncomfortable seeing you kissing other people and it's not just me I am sure most guys will not be ok seeing his girlfriend kissing another person". I know some of you may say that there is no harm in kissing a gay friend but for me, I am not ok with it because a kiss should be something special between us two.
Anyway, after that conversation... she told me that she would stop kissing her gay best friend if it making me uncomfortable and she doesn't want me to be upset. I'm sure her gay best friend will understand because she is now in a relationship. I know she is open-minded and she always tells me things but what if she goes out partying with him and still kissing him without telling me. Then I will never know right. I know I have to put my trust in her and believe that she is telling me the truth. But I still find it hard to not worry and believe that she won't do it again because like I said if she doesn't tell me then I will never know.

4
Xjanex December 23rd, 2019
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@passionateShade936

Overall, I think you just need to trust that, if she says she isn't, then she isn't. A relationship is nothing if you can't trust each other and you're going to drive yourself crazy every time you know she's out with him, if you don't.

Although, are we talking a quick peck or full-on making out? Or something in-between?

passionateShade936 OP December 23rd, 2019
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@Xjanex

it's not a full make out or anything like that. but It's a proper lip to lip kiss for a good 2-5 seconds

Xjanex December 23rd, 2019
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@passionateShade936

Yeah. In my opinion, that's relationship kissing. Not that she's trying to have a romantic relationship with him. But that's not a "girls kissing each other goodbye" peck kiss. Because I feel like that's kind of the gay best friend standard: would they do it with another girl? So, yeah, that seems... inappropriate.

But, overall, if you're not comfortable with her doing something generally reserved for romantic relationships with someone else and she respects you, she's going to respect that these are your wishes. No one wants to make their partner uncomfortable, if they're in a loving relationship.

Chri5 December 23rd, 2019
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@passionateShade936

I can understand where you are coming from in a sense as I would be a little uncomfortable myself. However, as your girlfriend says, he's gay. Nothing is going to happen between them. People can be close without being sexual, and let's face it, kissing is not sex.

The main thing to ask yourself is why you feel she should stop kissing him. Do you not trust her? Do you not trust him?

When you are in a serious relationship with someone, there needs to be trust both ways. If you don't trust your girlfriend, then your relationship could be doomed.

If you don't trust him, are you thinking he may not be gay afterall? A gay man will not be interested in a woman in a sexual way at all, so really and truthfully, what is the problem?

As I said, I would be the same to a degree if my wife was to kiss any of her gay male friends longer than a peck, but I do ultimately trust my wife and so I think I would not stop her; especially if it was common practice before we met.

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