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I’m resenting my boyfriend for ignoring my desire to get rid of our dog

SolarRae November 10th, 2021

My boyfriend and I had decided to get a dog and two weeks ago found one we thought was perfect. But it turns out it’s way way too much work for me. I’m disabled and unable to walk it, and it’s one of those dogs that ruins your house and is aggressive if you don’t walk it at least 2-4 miles a day. I told him I realized I’m actually a cat person and not a dog person at all, and want to get rid of it. He’s fallen in love with it tho but I’ve come to resent both him and the dog. It’s ruined all my favorite belongings and is an energy drain. I have enough to deal with already. His mother is taking it during the day until it learns to stop biting, but that means i will eventually be expected to take care of it all day while he’s at work, and I had told him you can keep the dog if you find someone else to care for it during the day. But he won’t do that. I have my own health to think of and I have things I actually want to be doing with my time. I told him I feel trapped but he doesn’t listen. He thinks how I feel about the dog will change but I’ve told him over and over it really won’t. Im resenting not being heard or listened to and that he’s not taking into account how I feel or what I actually need. This is similar to a past relationship I just freed myself of, but less extreme. Im thinking I need to leave. Does anyone have any advice? I would really appreciate it.

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halcyonCloud2036 November 10th, 2021

@SolarRae

I'm sorry this sounds so stressful and must be exhausting to deal with on top of everything else. Keep talking to him and advocating for your needs. You sound really strong and self-aware, don't let anyone make you doubt that your needs are a priority. Sending you hugs!

1 reply
SolarRae OP November 10th, 2021

Thank you for the support and for saying I sound really strong and self-aware. That’s really made me feel good in a time when I don’t so much. And thank you for reminding me to make my own needs a priority and to not doubt that I’m worth that… it’s a reminder I sometimes tend to need, unfortunately. But thank you for your reply.

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dukeofdearham November 10th, 2021

@SolarRae,

that is quite unfair.

He should put you 1st.

How about "It's either me or the dog. You pick". Might not be the best idea but maybe you get what I am aiming at.

Nobody should come between the two of you, and neither of you should let someone come between the two of you, and most certainly not a pet.

Take care.

SolarRae OP November 10th, 2021

@dukeofdearham


thank you so much I really really needed to hear that. I’m kind of beside myself with the idea that he would put a dog before me. How utterly degrading… I did tell him it’s me or the dog and he was basically like.. “the dog.” I guess I’m glad to know how things really are at least. I think I’ll be moving out now.


but thank you so much for the support, it truly means the world to me.

1 reply
dukeofdearham November 11th, 2021

@SolarRae,

the one you really should thank is you. You looked at the situation, and did the best you could do. Meaning, you chose yourself.

You did that.



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