Im a little bit older
I was willing to sacarfice everything to support him. I would turn down 10,000 men, $100,000, my future to have children and the dreams that came along with it. I was his leaning shoulder. I was with him every step of the way while he was sick and willing to be compassionate when his past trauma brought out the worst in him. Yet I am the one who carrys the shame??..How does this make sense?! I am mocked by strangers for being broken. I am human. You dont even know me [I'd never do that to you]. He wasnt there for me when I got sick. He behaved quite replused and still does. He stamped me as my disorder. Annoyed at my suffering as if i could control it. He flirted, lied and belittled me while I was down. Gaslight to get what he wanted. Never was it whats mine is yours. Yeah, sure its your house, stuff, cars bc you pay for it, right? No. We were never a team. But I am the one with all the shame. Its a struggle understanding it. I have alot of work to do.
@lostcurves31 I imagine it feels unfair being treated that way when you do so much for a person. It is. After all you do and then not receive understand from him when you go through rough times, it hurts. I am sorry you have to go through this. Please reach out to a listener if you ever need support.
@lostcurves31
Agree with @sereneButton43 that that sounds pretty unfair. 
You were willing to sacrifice everything and be there for him when he was sick and you were patient/forgiving with him when he was at his worst. But he was never able to return the favor or extend the same generosity in return when you were hurting.
Also I'm sorry that anybody would be mocking you. I'm a bit annoyed too when people fail to understand that trauma changes people in certain ways. It can look strange from the outside (in addition to being painful and frightening for the person experiencing it), but I've found that sometimes those changes make a lot of sense and are just the mind compassionately trying it's best to do whatever it can to adapt to a difficult situation and protect you.
