I done what i shouldnt have
To start off i would like to know no matter what i say here i know i am in the wrong and there is nothing to excuse me of what i have done. Me and my girlfriend of 1yr plus of dating have broken up… and all this have to bring back to a few months back. Initially we were both open to exploring with threesome with the mindset of you one and i one. And the opportunity came when her friend was cheating on her spouse. And the three of us met up to drink. And through a few drinks i asked my girlfriend to kiss her friend and that if i could do the same and she said its okay for me to do so. But after that day she told me that she was affected by what happened but she hid her feelings to a point where i didnt know she was deeply affected by it or i was silly to not realize. Few months later my gf scheduled another session with her friend to drink because the friend need to talk to her about her own issue. And before the drinking start she warned me that she would break up with me if i kissed her friend and i said okay. Throughout the night i was drinking by myself while she and her friend talk … and i know i wasnt attracted to the friend . But in the midst of the drink my gf came and asked me if i want to kiss her friend which i said no to and she told me i can if i want . But i refused. Then towards the end of the day, my gf suggested that we drop off the friend first and suggested that bring her friend to her house upstairs and i got a little confused and so i went to ask my gf if she is letting me kiss her friend which she said it is okay to and asked how long we would kiss for . But i should have known that isnt a good idea to do it. But my impulse to test the relationship because of my insecurities got the better of me and me and the friend made out … and because of that my gf decided to break up with me. I have applogized for what happened and came clean that i have some underlying issue to self sabotage our relationship and have enrolled counseling to solve my root issue. She told me that she will be open for me to chase her back if i did it and manage to win her back. We have said alot of goodbyes and that we both will miss each other alot and that this isnt the end of our story … however i found out that she made out with another guy right after we said our goodbyes … and i know that isnt my problem as we have broken up but it doesnt feel good… and because of this issue we talked again about it… I really want her back however i do not know how … we have decided to give each other space and not to talk to each other in the meanwhile and that i would wait for her to text me when she is ready to talk Any advice and thoughts about what is going on . Do you think she will be able to or there is a chance for her to forgive me and give me another chance. Within our relationship i am always there for her , protect her, took good care of her but i betrayed her trust and caused alot of pain for her. The day when we leave i kissed her and she broke down very badly saying that everytime we kiss it will bring sadness in her and when i asked her if she wants me to be gone from her world so i wont bring pain to her she said she just need some time …