Hopeless Crush on Brother's Bestie
Hey everyone,
As you can tell from the title of this thread, I have had a crush on my older brother's close friend for as long as I can remember. Ever since I was a kid, I would get all excited when he would come over to our house, and especially when he talked to me. Being the youngest sibling, none of my brother's friends would ever ackowledge me; except for him. This friend would always say hi to me (and call me by my name instead of just their friend's little sister), ask me how school was, and all of that. One of my favorite memories with him is when I made myself a glass of iced tea, and he asked me if I could make him a glass, and he loved it. I don't know, that was just such a highlight for me. 😂
The crush was never strong enough to the point where I could never like anyone but him. I have had other romantic interests, but for some reason, this one just won't go away. He is 5 years older than me, so obviously nothing could ever happen between us back then. But, now that I am 19, I kind of want to give it a shot. He rarely comes over nowadays; a few weeks ago was the first time I saw him in a couple of years, and that's when I realized that the feelings are still there. I could probably make him another glass of iced tea and probably feel just as enthusiastic as I did when I was a kid, LOL. But rarely seeing him also means rarely talking to him.
We are friends on Facebook, and I noticed it was his birthday a few days ago. So, I sent him a message wishing him a good day, saying it was nice to see him the other day, and that it'd be good to catch up and chat more. To this day, he still hasn't even opened my message or read it, despite being active multiple times, and the message status being "delivered".
I'm no stranger to rejection, but this one really sucks since I've liked him for so long. Maybe the age difference weirds him out? Or maybe he sees me as a little sister since we've known each other for so long? I could definitely see why he would turn me down, but I just hate that he couldn't even give me a chance. I know I should let him go, but I can't just turn these feelings off for him. I see something special in him, and I want to tell him how I feel, but never get the opportunity. I just feel like I'm in a fruitless situation and don't know how to get him to see me in the same way I see him, or to even talk to him.
As for my brother, we aren't close at all. I could never tell him how I feel without him being weirded out, angry, or swearing at me. I hate that out of all people, I have to like HIS friend. He would never understand how I feel or try and set me up with his friend, because he just isn't compassionate or caring at all like you would imagine an older brother to be. I know that even if his friend and I started dating, my brother and my whole family would be weirded out completely, but I think he would really make me happy (since he already does). I know the rest of my family would be accepting since they already think he's a good guy, but I just have no idea how he sees me or if anything could or would ever happen, and it hurts.
I know this is kind of a crazy situation, but any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated. :)
@honeypie720
Hey there, 🧡
Thanks for taking the time to write out how you feel and your thoughts about the crush you have had on your older brother's close friend. Seems like you have kept the feelings to yourself for so long and over the years have grown to like him a lot and have hopes that something could happen but you also have doubts remembering you wrote about how he didn't answer your message on FB.
I know going to speak him in person would be even harder.
I could say this but as you said because you have been interested but still it is hard to get over your crush when in a way you want to try with them.
I guess in a way like this quote
Like when you hide your feelings for someone then they develop so I guess could imagine as time goes by you think a lot about him. Now that you are older you are considering it but aren't sure about how he feels. Perhaps you could talk more about things.
I hope that some options and ideas come up from your message and through talking.
@MonicaQu
Hey, thank you for the wonderful advice! I really like those quotes, and I definitely agree with them. As I replied before, I am usually the person who isn't afraid to speak up about how I feel, just to give myself closure and to live with no regret of "what could've been." It's just challenging with this guy, as I always have to wait for him to show up at my house (which isn't very often, and when he does, he's always hanging with my brother and never really alone), or respond to my message (which he still hasn't even opened). I know I need to get my feelings out there for myself, but it's just hard figuring out how. I appreciate the time you took to reply with such wise and wonderful words, it was very helpful! :)
Hey, just an update:
So I went into the bathroom earlier and noticed that my brother left his phone in there. I know this probably wasn't the most ethical thing to do, but yes, I did some snooping to try and find anything about his friend. I was just looking for a phone number or any way to contact him that is effective. I did find a phone number, but there was no call or text history, so maybe he doesn't use it? I tried look on social media too and found nothing. Then I went to my brother's Facebook messages and saw that that is where he texts and calls his friend. And they were just talking a couple days ago, when it's been almost a week since I messaged him. It sucked to see that cuz now I wonder why he's been purposefully ignoring me.
So now what? I should just let it go but I know my mind would never be that kind. *sigh*
@honeypie720 I am sorry that this a struggle for you maybe it just wasn't meant to be but you could try to tell this person how you feel and see if he even feel's the same way.