(Failed) Relationship Hopper

This is hard to talk about.

I've always been the "heartbreaker" and have always relationship hopped quickly, forgetting who I was each time. With all the pain of losing that person, I wanted to deal with it through another person and have put my worth into men, which isn't right.

My first ex - we met organically in class and instantly had a spark, dated for 6 months, but he got too clingy so I left.

~ 1 year before dating again, which I definitely was able to work on myself~

Second ex - we went on a blind date set up by my best friend and her bf at the time and he emotionally and mentally abused me, ending up cheating at the end and I stood him up and left.

~3 weeks~

Third ex - my dream, my first love. He treated me like a QUEEN, smothering me with his love, we went on adventures together, we were deep we were perfect, until college started for me. Long distance was a lot harder than I expected... I couldn't see him often and I got so busy. Also, I was curious about other men... Bad things - we were very off and on at the end, he didn't really want to go to college, he had a lot of issues that I felt like I had to fix but couldn't so I left.

~3 weeks of self-destruction = sex, alc, parties~

4th ex - we met from mutual friends in college and he was so happy and someone I looked up to. Overtime, I felt like an option and felt like he was a boy vs. a man. We fought a lot, so I left. It's been 2 weeks since we've broke up and I'm forced to be alone... I just need help because I miss him