Could use help
Hey everyone so I'm new here, so hello! Now onto what I could use help with, my girlfriend and I have been having some big problems. I haven't been the best or most helpful when it comes to house hold tasks or communication or doing the little things. She feels like the relationship has flatlined and I haven't done much of anything to be present in it. I'm lost on how to correct my behavior or even what to do that I'm going to do my absolute best to not revert back to how I've been all while being more open about what I'm dealing with or what I feel might be lacking in our relationship. Any advice or help is beyond welcome
@amicablePerson854
Hey Amicable!
Welcome to 7 Cups :)
I'm sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend are having problems.
I think it's great that you've been able to identify the things that you may have done (or not done) that have contributed to your current situation. Identification of the causes and taking ownership are two of the most critical steps in problem-solving so it seems to me that you're already on the path to making things better :)
As for what exactly you can do now, I'm afraid I can't advise you on the matter since you know your situation best. However, from personal experience, I would say that the key to making any relationship work is open and honest communication. Perhaps sitting down with your partner and having a conversation on what exactly you can do to strengthen the relationship may be a good place to start? Like I said, you know your situation the best.
Take care and I hope things start to look up soon.
I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I'm just looking for different perspectives and I know I didn't provide a bunch of information which I probably could have. I have a hard time sharing things
@Scartissue54 Do you have a chore chart or system for how you split things? Maybe you could work on some chores together if it feels hard to get started at them?
By "the little things" does that mean she wants more romantic gestures or maybe giving her compliments?
We don't have a chart which honestly something like that usually helps me personally. She doesn't like dishes and they're a trauma trigger for her which I understand. I could definitely help out more around the house with cleaning and what not. But and this might be an excuse I'm dealing with my own trauma currently and some other stressors and related things so I'm not going to be the most present and on top of household duties that yes I've slacked on severely. By little things she means the little romantic gestures or if I see a card or something little getting it because it reminds me of her just little things to seem insignificant but really aren't.