Can sex be just sex?
I’m not sure how to really put this, my thoughts are all over the place. After my first child, 2 years ago - I have completely lost my sex drive. My poor spouse has suffered my mood swings abs lack of sex (and even worse we’re trying for another kid - which, well… involves sex, so I feel bad, I feel like I’m using him). Anyway. I often feel like I would be 1000% OK if he were to have a sexual - and only sexual - relationship outside of me. I know those needs need to be met and I don’t want to fulfill those needs (I don’t want to fulfill those needs with anyone, so im not NOT attracted to him or anything). However I have recently thought about sexual relations with other men… and THATS it. I still want the relationship with my spouse, for him to be my person .. and well, still have relations… but both of us have relations with others. Ugh… I feel all over the place here lol.
@selfdisciplinedMelon5895
That's definitely a conversation worth having with you and your partner so that you both can see how each other feels about it. Hopefully things go well and you're able to figure out what to do going forward with this 
@selfdisciplinedMelon5895
Hi my dear! I can see that this situation is putting a lot of stress on your mind and that makes me sympathize with you and I really feel for you <3
I think that first of all, you should adress your sexual health, as hyposexuality or decreased libido can be a red flag for some health issues like depression, for example. That worries me especially as you've also mentioned some mood swings. So I do hope you can take care of yourself my friend :)
Also, I totally understand that you aren't sexually attracted to anyone in general, it is not a matter of not being attracted to your spouse, it is a matter of hyposexuality and that is totally valid!
I think we cannot decide for you or give you advice on this topic because it is your private couple's life that we are talking about. Although I can assure you that there are many people who have open relationship where one person has (strictly) sexual relationships with others outside of the relationship and that can work perfectly fine as long as everyone is consenting, I can't get inside your head and I can't know if you would be comfortable with something like that.
Do you think opening up to your spouse about this and talking things over with him would be something that could work?
The last thing I'm going to add is that if you'd like to chat with me to better organize your idea or try to better understand how you feel about this, I'd be glad to talk :)
Until then, take care dear <3
Alice :)
First of all, thank you so much @selfdisciplinedMelon5895 for sharing your story and concerns with us. 🌺 It appears to be quite a struggle, and I can sense it is difficult for you as you don't want to hurt the one you love. Perhaps sharing your worries with him would be an answer, seeking counseling together if that makes you feel safer to ensure that you will have a space to talk openly about all of this topics and to build a communication pathway between you and your spouse. I am sending a lot of support and big hug wishing you'll find a way to sort out this situation and that you'll be as the orchid, a flower than blooms rare and beautiful through hardships but grows stronger than ever. 🌺❤️
@selfdisciplinedMelon5895
Hi! Wow. That sounds like a lot to handle. I’m glad you reached out. It sounds like something that might be worth having a conversation with your partner about. It’s totally okay to not feel romantic feelings. It can be hard to handle in a relationship though. How has this affected you?
@selfdisciplinedMelon5895 Hello. It seems that your relationship must be going through some difficult time.
You said twice that your thoughts are "all over the place", so I assume you must be a little bit confused about your body, emotions and the complexity of the situation? How about not rushing it, but taking some time before making any final decision?
Maybe I am a bit old-fashioned, but for me sexual, emotional and spiritual/mental connections go together. It would be hard for me to love someone without having sex (excluding very serious health issues) and having sex with someone else without falling in love in her or him.
I find it difficult to connect your information, because first you are telling you are no longer interested in sex at all, but later on you admit being enthusiastic about sex with someone else than your partner. What could have happened if you checked the reasons of the lack of the attraction between you and your partner first?
It seems your marriage can be driving into some kind of an open relationship. It may look logical, but are you sure logic always work in the world of feelings? Wouldn't it be too complicated on both emotional and organizational level, if you expected another child together at the same time?
How do you like the idea of discussing it all with your partner before you both do anything?
I wish you all the best
This situation sounds like its putting on a.lot of stress on you. Have you thought about talking with them to see how they feel and letting them know how you feel