Shame and confusion
I don't know what's wrong with me. I have had sex with more men in a year than some people do ever. I'm so shameful. I feel like a slut. I've been called one and also compared to a prostitute by my ex boyfriend. He tells me I'm basically one except I do it for free but eventually I might get desperate enough I'll become one. But the thing is, i don't know why I sleep with anyone at all. I mean my ex boyfriend, well, i loved him. But all the other guys, I have no idea. I liked to blame it on alcohol because most times i would refuse to do it unless they gave me alcohol but that doesn't complete the answer. I go through phases where I'm so desperate (for what though? I still don't know) that I will put myself in very dangerous situations for sex. But I usually hate doing it but I can't stop myself. Anyways, if anyone has any input on where this might be coming from or how to control it helpful comments are always appreciated! Thanks. Shame and confusion have consumed my mind over this issue.
I would recommend speaking with a professional who can help you pinpoint what exactly is causing this sort of behavior. I can give you some assumptions, but at the end of the day that's all they will remain.
Two personal theories come to mind when I read your post.
One - You're trying to fill a void you feel within yourself by filling it with any kind of affection/attention regardless of how temporary it may be. The void could be caused by things such as insecurity or need for validation.
Two - You're trying to escape from something that's chasing you. Whether that thing is a feeling, a memory, or a situation you're in.
Again, I don't know anything about you, or your habits, or the people you seek out, or what events have led up to this point. I strongly advise you to speak to a therapist if figuring out the cause means a lot to you.
I know the feelings of shame and confusion very well and I would not wish that feeling you most likely feel right after each occurance on my worst enemy. I've been there and I too put myself in dangerous situations that left my reputation in tatters. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this and I hope you're able to end this cycle. I wish you nothing but the best of luck!
I don't really know anything about this topic but I want to say is don't be a shame of yourself. Dont listen to anything anyone has to say. It's your life. And being a slut isn't bad. I'd rather be a happy slut than a sad virgin lol.
