Shame and confusion

I would recommend speaking with a professional who can help you pinpoint what exactly is causing this sort of behavior. I can give you some assumptions, but at the end of the day that's all they will remain.

Two personal theories come to mind when I read your post.

One - You're trying to fill a void you feel within yourself by filling it with any kind of affection/attention regardless of how temporary it may be. The void could be caused by things such as insecurity or need for validation.

Two - You're trying to escape from something that's chasing you. Whether that thing is a feeling, a memory, or a situation you're in.

Again, I don't know anything about you, or your habits, or the people you seek out, or what events have led up to this point. I strongly advise you to speak to a therapist if figuring out the cause means a lot to you.

I know the feelings of shame and confusion very well and I would not wish that feeling you most likely feel right after each occurance on my worst enemy. I've been there and I too put myself in dangerous situations that left my reputation in tatters. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this and I hope you're able to end this cycle. I wish you nothing but the best of luck!

I don't really know anything about this topic but I want to say is don't be a shame of yourself. Dont listen to anything anyone has to say. It's your life. And being a slut isn't bad. I'd rather be a happy slut than a sad virgin lol.