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Scared of sex!

User Profile: AwkwardThinker0205
AwkwardThinker0205 September 5th, 2015

Ahh, well i dont have a boyfriend and never have but i always jump to conclussions, when i get a boyfriend what will sex feel like, will i have to give him oral. Why do guys like oral?

How long in your opinion should you be together before you have sex!?

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User Profile: AdVictoriam
AdVictoriam September 5th, 2015

Sex probably won't be super great that first time but it does feel good

You don't have to give oral if you're not comfortable with doing it. Consent is sexy!

Guys get really into oral for some reason I don't understand. I think it has to do with how the media and maybe how porn makes it look like it's the best thing in the world. :/

You should wait until you figure out what sex means to you. It's kinda a weird answer so lemme explain :) basically if you're okay with sex being sex then it's different than if you feel like sex has to be related to love. Just make sure you have the same expectations as your partner (ex: you think sex is just sex and they think sex means you're madly in love. Or vice versa) so there's no misunderstanding!

User Profile: Hollywoodglitter
Hollywoodglitter September 5th, 2015

This is such a great question that no one ever ask. Let me tell you for years I thought about this and in the end my first sexual experiences was literally the best experience I could have ever had. I mean I can tell you I waited my whole life for this moment and in the end it was amazing and I truly felt as if I had waited for this person and just didn't know that till after it happened. I will tell you I was incredibly lucky because most first experiences are not like mine. Most are awkward, uncomfortable, clumsy, sometimes painful and usually not the experience you hope for. In answer to your question... When you have sex it should be about what makes you comfortable. I will say there are two main types of guys with exceptions of course. The first is the guy the gives and expects to receives. The second is just the giver. A third that you should avoid is the guy that only wants to receive.

I would say never have sex for the first time just to have sex. Have it because you feel a connection with someone. Let your body guide you and you'll know what you you are comfortable doing. Your mind will stop processing and good raw emotion will take over. It that moment you'll just instinctively move forward.

User Profile: Hollywoodglitter
Hollywoodglitter September 5th, 2015

I wanted to answer these questions for you too but I couldn't remember them when writing my last post...

Why do guys like oral? This really depends on the guy and a basic principle. We like things that feel good and touching certain pleasure zones in certain ways just makes you feel good. It's like when you open a bottle of wine and you see all these bubbles. It feels like yummy bubbles running through your body. Same as when a guy performs oral on a girl. Hit a pleasure zone the right way and boom yumminess. While basically all guys like oral and it can create a reaction in the body not make is turned on by it. Some men get turned on by turning you on. So oral is not really something you have to feel obligated to do. You can either talk to your partner ahead of time or they might clue you in before hand but the choice is always yours and you should be comfortable.

How long in your opinion should you be together before you have sex!? Everybody will give you different answers on this but truthfully you'll know when you're ready. It may be one week it may be one year it may be longer. The best time to have sex is when you are 100% comfortable with that person.

For me I always thought I was going to wait till I get married or at least until I had that long term relationship and we loved and cared for each other deeply but I ended up having sex with very fast with someone. We had this instant physical, emotional, intense mental attraction. It was very animalistic to say the least. I never in my wildest dreams anticipated stepping away from the morals I set for myself but with him there was no question. The first time we had sex it was and wasn't planned. We joked around and it was very relaxed and it just flowed naturally. He made love to me and he took care of me. My body language told him I was nervous but he didn't know why till afterwards. Mentally though I wasn't nervous I was lost in passion. I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to and I never felt pressured too. He was consistently making sure I was ok and kept asking if I was this was ok. Not because he was inexperienced (let me tell you he wasn't) but because he cares about me. He just wanted to please me and that's something you don't find often.

That's how you'll know when you are so relaxed and comfortable and you're filled with this intense passion for a person.

I will say this though don't confuse passion for lust or infatuation. There is a difference and you need to be able to recognize it in yourself first.

I hoped some of this helped...

User Profile: Minyaa
Minyaa September 5th, 2015

Hi
I think you should look on this site therulesrevisited.com :)

The sites covers up almost everything you ask in a very clear way. Hope that help!

User Profile: yzzil
yzzil September 5th, 2015

Have to say I hated my first real sexual experience. I was embarrassed, uncomfortable, and freaked out. I wanted it to be great, but I think I wasn't ready. I'm not talking about petting, that was ok. I'm talking about real total sex. I was older than my friends, 22. I think it was more of an expectation I put on myself rather than being with someone it mattered with. Do what feels right. Don't be pushed beyond your comfort level and don't feel like it has to happen because everyone does it.

User Profile: AwkwardThinker0205
AwkwardThinker0205 OP September 5th, 2015

Thank you everyone who has replied and out there experience. I appreciatesmiley it a lot xoxo

User Profile: Hufflepuff21
Hufflepuff21 September 24th, 2015

I just want to say thanks for asking these questions. I'm in a really similar boat myself. I am dating someone, but we're both virgins and we're both almost 24. We've only been together a month and already things are starting to heat up. I've enjoyed what we've done, but I'm totally scared to go further and I don't know how to break that to him. Touching each other to get off feels pretty harmless, but I'm afraid of wasting my first real time on a fling just because we're both kinda sexually frustrated. I just don't know how I can break that to him. It's not that I don't want sex ever, it's just that I don't know if I'm ready for it.

1 reply
User Profile: comfortableParadise21
comfortableParadise21 October 29th, 2015

@Hufflepuff21 If you are feeling scared and unsure if you're ready, the chances are you may well not be ready! Although it's one of those things where there isn't really any 'perfect time' to do it, you still have to feel comfortable otherwise it may not even work physically. If you're scared and stressed about it you'll be too tense for penetration to be easy. My advice is only have sex when you are both relaxed, comfortable, and definitely up for it :) I was really scared of losing my virginity, but then I met a guy who had been with a few girls before so he totally knew what he was doing and made me feel really at ease and relaxed. Now sex is amazing and I'm glad I waited until I felt ready because otherwise it may have been a bad experience! :)

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