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Hufflepuff21
1,544 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 34 Compassion hearts25 Forum posts59 Forum upvotes28 Current upvotes28 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2018 Member sinceApril 16, 2015
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Readiness Uncertainty/Guilt
Relationship Stress / by Hufflepuff21
Last post
 September 24th, 2015
...See more Ok. So I'm going to apologize in advance if this post gets long or rambling. I'm just trying to sort out some emotions. I'm a virgin and I just turned 24. I've had 2 serious boyfriends, one who dumped me because I was hesitant about sex after 2 months when I was 21 and one last year who was waiting til marriage but was emotionally manipulative so I left him after six months. I've recently started seeing someone and I really like him. We're not an 'official' couple at this point, but we've been dating for a month. On our last date we were at his place and things started to heat up. We ended up seeing each other naked and doing some heavy petting, which was not much more than I'd done with my boyfriend last year, but the catch is I know he's interested in going further. As we were doing it, I was mildly hesitant but things felt so good I just went with it. I didn't start freaking out until I got home, even though no boundaries had been crossed. I'm just worried now that I've rushed into something and won't be able to regain control over this relationship. I was raised in a fairly conservative family when it comes to sex, and I've always been lead to believe that girls who rush into sexual relationships are sluts. I feel like I'd be really guilty if anyone knew what I'd done. I want my first time to be special, even if it happens before I get married. I'd like to think I could convey this to my boyfriend (for lack of a better word) without it being an issue (he's a virgin too) but I'm afraid of being left again over sex. If that does happen, I don't know if I could forgive myself for blowing this by letting myself get carried away so quickly. I could see myself having sex with this guy, but probably not for a few months until I'm sure there's a comitment there. Do you think that's possible? Anybody have experience like this or want to offer some advice?
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Dreaming of my ex and I don't know what to do!
Relationship Stress / by Hufflepuff21
Last post
 April 30th, 2015
...See more Looking for help from anyone with knowledge or experience with this problem (possibly a good listener). I broke up with a guy just under two months ago. We were together for six months and I had very strong feelings for him. We had discussed a possible future together and we had a lot of fun but there were problems. He had some emotional issues and as a result he was very paranoid, jealous, and possessive of me. At the end I started to feel like I was being emotionally abused so I left, even though it was really hard. He didn't take to it well and kept trying to contact me to beg me to take him back. I knew nothing was going to change because we'd been through a part of the same fight before and I couldn't handle it, so I cut off all contact with him. I know what I did was right for me and after a few weeks I started to move on mentally, my only fear is that he was so emotional because of past problems, that my leaving him will have done him serious mental harm. When I'm busy I can push that out of my mind, but if anything reminds me of him (even something as innocent as a relationship on a tv show) I start to feel that guilt and the what if's start up again in my subconscious. Then I dream about him. Sometimes it's flashbacks, sometimes it's scenarios of what might have been had I not left or I'd taken him back, and sometimes it's complete nonsense but I always wake up stressed and sad. It's gotten to the point that I'm afraid to go sleep because I don't want to deal with this. I've tried sleeping pills but it doesn't make a difference. I can't control this and it's incredibly frustrating. Does anybody know anything that could help this situation?
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