No matter how hard we try.....
Hi,
I'm Mel, what I'm about to say is pretty awkward for me.. but bare with me :)...
So, I've been having sex for over a year now and never in that period of time have I had an orgasm. And before you tell me people can take longer then others, I know... I thought so too. My boyfriend has tried really hard to help me orgasm and so on. And I know it's not him. It does feel good... but.. I just can't exactly. . get "there", -no matter what. Im not all about sex and most of the time I dont mind, I just like him close to me. But sometimes he tries hard cos he wants me to feel good... and I try but it never works. I've been slightly close once but he was completely dead and had no more power in him. He was at it for almost 30 minutes. I wasn't mad.. . More at myself really.
I tend to become deppressed at times after we ha sex. I've cried a few times too.. just because I feel like we can't have "normal" sex... or I feel there is something wrong with me.
I did try to self diagnose, and I do have anxiety.. so I thought it might be linked to that. I just don't know.....
:(
@Ghost0fNightmares I find it a little awkward to reply to this sort of post, because I don't know how explicit to be. Just something for you to think about: do you have orgasm when you "pleasure yourself"? If not, that might be a place to start. If so, teach boyfriend to help. You mention anxiety. Medical or psychological issues could be involved, and should be ruled out or treated, as appropriate.
@Ghost0fNightmares
Hey there! When you and your partner have sex, do you try foreplay? You said one time you almost achieved orgasm once but he was exhausted after 30 mins. Do you think that maybe warming up things beforehand, before intercourse could be a way of achieving orgasm? You also said that the sex you and your partner have, feels good but he wants to make you orgasm and that you feel bad when you aren't able to. Do you think that a orgasm is vital to sex and do you think that you always have to orgasm to have a satisfying sex life? What does sex mean to you? Many men and women cannot achieve orgasm due to various reasons but that does not mean they do not have a satisfying sex life. Do you think that focusing on the enjoyment of being close to your partner and not on orgasming, could be a way of finding sex just as satisfying, with or without orgasming? You may find that once you and your partner stop focusing on achieving orgasm, it will reduce your stress and anxiety, which can be a major factor in not achieving orgasm in the first place!
I hope this gave you a few things to think about! Good luck! 
@KindListening we do try foreplay. But I guess maybe we dont do it long enough. Maybe I have to really want him?
And no , as I mentioned before sex or orgasming isnt vital for me at all. But I do get worried sometimes. We are still happy. And its still great even without me orgasming. But sometimes we would like me to,- thats all.
@Ghost0fNightmares
I think if you are having troubles with achieving orgasm, focusing on foreplay (specially focused on you) could help move things along when it comes to intercourse afterwards. Have you tried speaking to your partner to tell him, what feels good and what doesn't and what you would enjoy specifically? I noticed you talked about that you are able to achieve orgasm through masturbation. I know some couples try mutual masturbation also as a means of foreplay. It may be a bit uncomfortable showing your partner but maybe if you were to google some suggestions on how to make it less uncomfortable, that could help.
I hope this helped a little! 
