@ambitiousDrum3600
There is F'ing and then there is making love. His change in the last four months is the result of him showing you the highest degree of respect, admiration, affection, and devotion. Based on someone with his past history with abuse, that is a big step for him. Clearly, he is feeling more intimate with you, close, personal, and open. He doesn't fear you, especially like the way he used to fear those that abused him. You've both established a level of trust.
When you're in a committed relationship, much like the one you're in with him, there is an underlying friendship. Sure, he's your boyfriend, you're his girlfriend -- fancy titles that express to the rest of the world and perhaps even to the both of you what roles are played and what is expected. However, you're both still friends, no matter what. Friends talk to each other and you cannot carefully walk on eggshells each time you want to have a heart-to-heart with your closest friend, right?
You said he's opened up a lot to you over the last year. I'm sure you've done the same? This means that you should be able to talk to him about literally anything you want without fear of ridicule or judgment.
He loves to experiment with sex, so use that to your advantage. You could let him know that you LOVE when he makes love to you because it feels very close, personal, and intimate -- you NEED that to feel close to one another. Then, there are just nights when you want to F, and rough like it was, it's all about balance.
Perhaps to make love he needs a bed. So, if that is the case, perhaps you find places that are not the bed to F, because there is no way to cuddle if you're in the car, or anywhere where you're not in an intimate setting.
Your orgasm is also not his entire responsibility. It is also yours. You can use your hands, use your fingers, use a toy, while he's doing what he needs to do. There are no limits between you, right? If he is allowed to explore and be adventurous -- so are you. You're also allowed to take things into your own hands, so to speak too, does not always need to include him.
One of the other things you could do is showing him how you like things done. He can learn a lot by just watching one another across the couch or the bed, put on a show for one another, but the lesson is to show one another what you like, what you need, and how you like things done. You can teach him what needs to happen and when.
You'll both get what you want in this situation. He will still get to make love, you'll benefit from that, and then there are nights when it's just Fing. Which is great for you, because you're asking for more of that.
Don't worry about hurting his feelings. You both are going to be together, learn as a couple together, and remember that you're both parts of a team. Together, you can find ways to satisfy one another and even explore on your own.
These were just a few suggestions, you can certainly expand on what I've included above and find your own ways, but the chief takeaway in my post is that you must be comfortable talking to your partner about difficult subjects because being in a relationship is going to be hard, life is hard, and there are going to be other things that come up that requires you both to face the adversity together, head-on, and as a team. Work together, to build a stronger bond, a stronger foundation, and know that being honest, respectful, and telling him in the right ways matters a great deal.
You can stroke his ego, and self-esteem well before you start talking about things you'd like to have between you.
Remember, no matter how you shake it, all of this will benefit BOTH of you. So, maintain that mindset.
Happy Fing and Lifelong Sexual Discovery Together!
