What do I do
I feel like my whole life is on hold. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years total, since high school. We talked about moving and he wants to but is having a hard time getting a job where we want to move but I'm waiting to move before I start my own business which I really want to get started. I want to get married and start a family or at least start a family but he doesn't want to until he's cleared up all his debts (at least $15,000 between car and school) and gets a new job. Now he's starting to talk about how he's comfortable in the jobs he's in he doesn't seem in a rush to move or find a new job. I'm glad he's comfortable but at this rate I'm starting to worry that I'm stuck. I don't feel like leaving him is the right move but everything seems to be just waiting on him. If I was by myself I could move and start my business but I'd miss out on starting a family.
@purpleBunny9255
Sorry about your current situation.
I'm the type to be seriously straight with relationship advice-- some people like it, some people don't.
I'm younger than you and I've never been in a relationship. I also don't know all the trivial details that might be important.
Caution tape aside:
If you feel that everything is waiting on him, tell him that. You should be able to talk to your SO about something like this.
If you're not close enough with him to, then that might be a problem, and you might want to get on the same page with him fast. If he handles it badly, then you know that maybe this was destined to happen and you got yourself out of a bad or soon-to-be bad situation.
If you haven't been with him that long, you might want to reconsider your feelings for him altogether. Maybe it's just not a relationship that'll work out. If you're so madly in love, and I mean both of you, then you're going to have to come to some sort of agreement. With love comes sacrifices. You shouldn't have to flip your world upside down for someone who won't do the same for you.
If you want, you can keep me (and/or the community) posted on the situation.
Maybe I was helpful, maybe I wasn't. I tried to filter out anything that might be hurtful.
Hope this clears at least something up.
rc
@purpleBunny9255 hi there! Is there a reason why you can't start your business at your current location? Or would you consider moving by yourself to start your business and having a long-distance relationship to give him more time to look for a job? I kind of feel like most guys' egos are tied to their jobs and how much money they make so that might be why he's hesitant to move. But I don't think you should give up your dream of starting a business. I think there's some different options that you can explore but you'll need to talk to him to make sure that you're both on the same page and are working towards common goals.
@resourcefulOwl7361 I want to be a dog trainer and have an official business right now it's just more of an extra cash on the side type thing and volunteering. But I don't want to invest in building a company and then have to pack up and move it somewhere else. The plan is/was to move across the state.
he really doesn't make that much money he could make just as much pretty much anywhere but he seems to forget that I make enough money to afford for us to move, get married, and start a family (maybe not all at once but get started).
@purpleBunny9255 maybe just have a talk with him on whether he still wants to move. If he doesn't want to move and you do, you'll either have to move by yourself or you'll have to stay and make that sacrifice for him.
